（5月9日）
（我的生日 苍天啊！）
Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. 祝我生日快乐 祝我生日快乐
How in hell did I end up here again.. 为什么我又得一个人过生日...
Fuck off. 来首开心点的歌
片名：BJ单身日记3：BJ的孩子
（12小时前...）
My birthday actually began the way of all my birthdays. 我每年生日的开始 基本都重复着相同的剧情
Hello darling. Just ringing to wish you a happy birthday. 你好亲爱的 我是打电话来祝你生日快乐的
Mom? It's six a.m. 妈妈吗? 现在才早上6点
I'm doing the FaceTime. Una taught me. It's really marvellous. 我是用视频聊天打来的 乌纳教我的 真是太不可思议了
Mum, the point of FaceTime is that you haven't got to put the phone to your ear. 妈 视频聊天 不是让你把手机放在耳朵上听的
Oh, please.. Oh, there you are. 真是的... 噢 终于看到你了
This time, 43 years ago... 43年前的这个时候...
I was having a lamb beriyami in an attempt to coax you out. 我正在产房 费劲全身力气 想要把你生出来
23 hours of labour. Never been the same down there. 生产持续了整整23个小时 我这辈子从没这么辛苦过
It's a miracle, the gift of childbirth. - Here it comes. - 孕育一个新的生命 简直就是奇迹 - 进入正题
Penny Husband-Bosworth's son sells his sperm on the internet. 佩妮的老公 博斯沃斯的儿子 在网上贩卖自己的精子
You don't need a man, Bridget. 现在生孩子连男人都不需要了 布里奇特
Some people have marvellous lives without them. Look at you. 很多人都是通过这种方式 有了自己的孩子 看看你
Nice flat, lovely job... 拥有这么棒的公寓 又有一份好工作...
Nice flat... - I'm putting the phone down now, mum. - 这么棒的公寓...- 妈 没事我就挂电话了
Say happy birthday to Bridget. Colin? 给布里奇特说个生日快乐 科林?
Happy birthday to Bridget. 祝布里奇特生日快乐
Thank you. 谢谢
I love you darling. Now don't forget... 我爱你亲爱的 别忘了...
I'm counting on you to head up my media campaign. 我选举的媒体宣传 都靠你了
It's the parish council elections, mum. Not the US primaries. 这只是一个教区委员会的选举 妈妈 不是什么美国总统初选
The annual phone call from mum reminding me to take my ovaries out of retirement. 每年接到我老妈的电话 都会提醒我自己 是时候把卵巢从休眠期唤醒了
The truth was that by now I thought I would have had a little baby to love 事实上 在自己的幻想中 到这个年纪 我应该已经有了自己一生的挚爱
with the chisel jawed love of my life. 以及一个可爱的小宝宝
But sometimes life gives you shallower compensations 但有时生活就喜欢跟你开玩笑
and at least I was finally down to my perfect weight. 即便如此 作为补偿 我终于瘦了
Good morning, Ms. Bridget. 早上好 布里奇特女士
You look beautiful again today. 你看上去还是一如既往的美
There was life in the old dog yet. 对于大龄剩女们 生活并不完全艰辛
Haven't exactly been put out to grass. 我们还是很有市场的
Hah! Ding dong.. 哈! 叮咚...
But this year all these things were brought into sharper focus... 但今年所有这些事 都被另一件事夺去了关注的焦点...
by an event I hadn't expected to attend quite so soon. 那是一个葬礼 但我未曾想到 会这么早就参加
Hi. 嗨
So how are you feeling? Are you ok? 你感觉如何?还好吗?
Mm. Yeah. 恩 我没事
I just can't believe he's gone, really. 我真的无法相信 他就这么走了
His death seems to have hit the eastern European 他的死 看样子 对于东欧青少年
teenage modelling community particularly hard. 模特社区的打击挺大的
They found the flight recorder but still no bodies. 飞行记录器被找到了 但是尸体还未发现
Strangely fitting that he should have died going down in the bush. 但是他居然是死于坠机 并且坠机地点是灌木丛 这一点与他的作派挺相符的 （“bush”有女性私处的意思）
We are gathered here to celebrate the life... 今天我们相聚于此 是为了纪念丹尼尔·维维安·克利弗...
of Daniel Vivian Cleaver. 的一生
Daniel was a kind and wonderful son... 丹尼尔是一个很棒的儿子...
Fuck. What the fuck is he doing here? 我去 他来这里干什么?
You know what he's like, wanting to do the decent thing. 你又不是不了解他 他总是喜欢表现自己
Is that his wife? 那是他老婆吗?
Did I ever get over losing Mr. Darcy? 对于错过达西先生这件事 我真的已经放手了吗?
Was he my Mr. Right? 他会是我的真命天子吗?
Oh Christ. 天啊
A man of outstanding charm and charisma. 他是一个有着非凡魅力与魄力的人
Just a bit emotional. - I would like to invite his loved ones up... 我太伤心了 我想邀请在座的各位 那些他深爱着的人们...
to share some of their memories of Daniel. 上来分享一些他们与丹尼尔之间的记忆
Daniel could be very sensitive ... 丹尼尔非常感性...
Make you feel like you were the only woman in the world. 他能让你觉得自己是 这个世界上最幸福的女人
I first met Daniel in Moscow. 我和丹尼尔是在莫斯科认识的
He once took me rowing on the Serpentine and quoted Keats by heart. 他曾带我在佘鹏泰恩河上划船 并且用心为我朗诵济慈的诗
He could quote Keats by heart. - Where be ye going,you Devon maid. 他真的很懂济慈的诗 你要去哪儿 来自德文的少女
And what have you there in the basket? - Where are you going, you Devon maid. 你的篮子里放着什么? 你要去哪儿 来自德文的少女
And what have you there in the basket? 你的篮子里放着什么?
You tight little fairy, just fresh from the dairy. 你就像个仙女 像刚从故事中走出来
Will you give me some cream if I ask it? 给我一些奶油 可以吗?
He did it to everyone. 他对每个女孩都这么说
Anybody else like to say a few words? 还有人想上来分享吗?
Say something for his mum. 为了他妈妈 说几句吧
Come on. 去吧
Daniel was a man ... 丹尼尔...
who touched many of us here today, including me. 摸过在座的很多女孩 包括我
Oh dear. 天啊
This is when Daniel would say, "Shut up, Jones." 这个时候丹尼尔通常会说，“快闭嘴吧 琼斯”
And he would be right, because all I really need to say is... 他是对的 因为其实我真正想说的是...
Dear Daniel, I will miss you terribly. 亲爱的丹尼尔 我会非常想念你的
We all will. 我们所有人都会的
Give you a call? - Yes very good. Bye bye. - 要我给你回电话吗? - 这样最好 拜拜
Bridget. - Mark. - 布里奇特 - 马克
This is Camilla. - Hello. - 这位是卡蜜拉 - 你好
Bridget, an old friend. 她是布里奇特 我的一个老朋友
Well, less old, more childhood. 也不算很熟 就是小时候的朋友
So... 所以...
Nice memorial, as memorials go. 追悼会办得挺成功的
Almost makes one look forward to one's own. 让人不自已开始向往自己的追悼会 （天啊，不要再说废话了）
Yes, well... 好吧...
Goodbye. - Goodbye. - 再见 - 再见
Maybe that's the reason Mark Darcy and I never made it. 也许这就是我和马克·达西 最终没有在一起的原因吧
I always felt like a verbally incontinent old maid, even when we were together. 即使是和他在一起的时候 我也总是口无遮拦 疯言疯语
Still, I wasn't going to dwell on the negatives. 但是 我不会让这些负面的情绪束缚自己
At least no-one at work knew it was my birthday. 至少我的同事们都不知道 今天是我生日
Or indeed, how old I was going to be. 确切点说 是不知道我今年满多少岁
Surprise. 惊喜
Congratulations, Bridget. 祝贺你 布里奇特
Or so I thought. 可能是我想多了
Who told you? 谁告诉你们的?
It's so hot. So many candles. 这么多蜡烛啊 热死了
Isn't there some sort of statute of limitations about the 对于当你满了多少岁 就要在蛋糕上
number of sodding candles on a cake once you get to a certain age? 插多少根蜡烛这件事 难道就没有什么法律可以限制一下?
Josh, I need you to see what Reuters is saying about the attacks on Ramallah. 乔希 我要你去查一下 路透社的人是如何评价 发生在拉马拉的袭击的
We might need a live link. And Laura... 可以的话 给我找到直播的链接 劳拉...
I may have been another year older and still single... 我或许又老了一岁 并且仍然单身...
but I could always take consolation in my job as top news producer. 但我仍可以从 顶尖新闻制作人这份工作中 找到些许安慰
So, how will I be changing the world today? 所以 我今天要如何改变世界?
Well, our main feature is the exclusive interview... 我们今天最主要的专题就是...
with the Foreign Secretary about NGochi. 对外交部长关于诺奇的专访
Oh, gee. How did you do that? - NGochi. - 天啊 你是怎么做到的? - 诺奇
NGochi. - You're good at that. - 诺奇 - 你真会弹
I know. I've been practising. NGochi. 我知道 我一直都有练习 诺奇
It's harder than you think. 比想象中难多了
Plus, have great new 30 something work colleagues 而且 有几个30几岁 并且对于孩子和婚姻
who are not obsessed with children and marriage. 都没什么兴趣的同事 也给我不少安慰
How do we plan on celebrating tonight? 今晚打算怎么庆祝?
Well, night out with the gang. - Please say that involves group sex. 和一群人出去混 拜托告诉我 你们有集体性交的打算
Gangbangs? Ooh, we'd like to do that. 淫乱派对?噢 好刺激啊
I know a smashing little club in the back of Berwick Street. 我知道在贝里克街后面 有一家非常棒的俱乐部
Chance would be a fine thing. 去试一试未尝不是一件好事
I'm beginning to think I'm past my sexual sell by date. 我开始觉得 我已经过了那个 可以提起男人性趣的年纪了
No. There are names for women like you now, Bridge. 不 现在好多人就想要你这样的 布里奇特
You're a cougar. You are a MILF. 你是个熟女 一瓶陈年美酒
I'm not a MILF, I'm not even a mum. I am a spinster, I'm a SPILF. 我就是个老处女 一个大龄剩女
Three minutes 'till we're on air. - It's called Voyeurz with a 'z'. 离直播开始还有3分钟 那家酒吧叫“偷窥者”
You tell them that Cathy sent you. 到时候你就说是凯西介绍你去的
If you go on a Thursday there's a Chinese buffet. All you can eat, as it were. 如果你星期四去 还能赶上“中餐”自助 到时候想吃什么吃什么
But whose advice was, never the less, sometimes a tad too modern for me. 但记不得是谁说过 年轻人对我来说 太不切实际了
It's me, checking talk-back. - Yep. - 是我 测试一下对讲机 - 没问题
You didn't freeze your eggs by any chance, did you? 你没有把你的卵子冷冻起来吧?
No, I imagine they're hard boiled by now. 没有 它们现在挺躁动的
You know what, Bridge? This weekend... 布里奇特 这样吧 这个周末...
you and me need to go out, and get stuck into some serious... 你和我一起出去 去好好浪一浪...
"Binge drinking, a dangerous scourge on society." “酗酒问题 已成为社会上日益危险的祸害”
Is new legislation needed? 需要制定新的法律加以严惩吗?
Bridget, Miranda, I've told you, don't talk between the bongs. 布里奇特 米兰达 告诉过你们多少次了 不要在播报间隙讲话
Stick to the questions on the cue cards. 开始念提示卡上的问题
Miranda. Cue. 米兰达 开始
The Foreign Secretary will be live in the studio... 外交部长将会接受我们的现场采访...
to talk about the looming crisis in Muribundi. 谈论他对穆瑞邦迪 日益高涨的犯罪率的看法
You can always try online dating again. 你可以再试试网上相亲
The other night I was on Tinder. Half an hour later I'm having a 3-way with... 有天晚上我上了一个交友软件 一个半小时之后 我就和别人开始3p...
Prince Andrew, the Royal Special Representative for Trade and Investment... 安德鲁王子 皇家商贸及投资的特别代表...
He did that on purpose. ...has just written his first children's book. 他是故意的 ...刚刚完成了他的第一本儿童书
He had a massive cock. 他有一个大鸡吧
Live in the studio I'm joined by Foreign Secretary George Wilkins... 接下来我们的直播间 将迎来外交部长乔治·威尔金斯...
who has just returned from war ravaged Muribundi... 他刚刚从发生战乱的穆瑞邦迪回来...
Miranda, I'm in your ear. Just follow my lead. 米兰达 现在我在线上 你听我的 我说什么你重复什么
... Where the assassination of bloody dictator Charles NGochi... ...在那里 一场对于嗜血独裁者查理·诺奇的暗杀
has resulted in civil war. - One shot, come back to four. Four. - 演变成了内战 - 非常好 4号机跟上
Minister, was this a military coup? 部长 这算是一次军事政变吗?
- Well, the signs are that NGochi's own generals did take him out... 看起来像是诺奇 自己的手下把他出卖了...
Hi, Tom. I can't talk. 嗨 汤姆 我现在不方便说话
How was Daniel's memorial? - It was just sad. - 丹尼尔的追悼会怎么样? - 很令人伤心
I can't believe he's gone. 真不相信 他居然死了
It's sad. I can't believe he's gone, actually. 真令人难过 事实上 我还是不敢相信 他居然死了
Ah... I don't think there was any particular sadness in his passing. 啊...我不觉得 他的死有什么好令人难过的
His persecution of the Ubuntu people amounted to genocide. 他对乌班图人民的迫害 跟大屠杀没什么两样
And that is well documented. - I know he had his flaws. - 这些都是有记录的 - 我知道他有缺点
Well, I know he had his flaws. - He could be a massive asshole. - 我知道他有自己的缺点 - 而且有时表现得像个大混蛋
He could be a massive asshole. 而且有时表现得像个大混蛋
But I miss him. We all do. - But I miss him. We all do. - 但我很想念他 我们都想念他 - 但我很想念他 我们都想念他
Well, he was certainly a very colorful character on the world stage Miranda... 米兰达 虽然在世界舞台上 他确实扮演了一个 非常具备传奇色彩的角色...
I grant you that, but I think the genocide... 这一点我没法否认 但我认为他的独裁...
resulting in the deaths of over 10,000 of his own people, men, women and children... 导致了上万人的灭亡 其中都是他自己的同胞 兄弟 姐妹 还有孩子...
probably rather put him on the wrong side of history. 所以我们最好以一个罪人的角度去看他
At least he was never boring. 至少他总是非常幽默
Well, at least he was never boring. 至少他带给大家不少乐子
One, two, three clear. 1 2 3 结束
Do you think a spirit of democracy can carry over into West Africa... 既然诺奇死了 你认为民主这样的思想...
Now that's NGochi's dead? 能否被带进西非?
Do you think, minister, that the spirit of democracy can 部长 在你看来 既然现在诺奇已经死了
carry over into West Africa now that NGochi is dead? 那么民主这样的思想 是否被带进西非?
Well now, that is an interesting question. Finally. 终于 你问了一个还算有趣的问题了
We're running out of time. - Miranda, wrap it up. - 时间快到了 - 米兰达 准备做结束语
Briefly, please, Minister. - Well it is a complicated issue. - 部长 请简短回答 - 这问题确实挺复杂的
A 'yes' or a 'no'. 能还是不能
Miranda, make it the last answer. - Let's hope so. - 米兰达 这是最后一个问题 - 希望如此吧
I'll take that. Thank you for joining us on the sofa today. 我喜欢这个答案 感谢你今天能来参加我们的采访
Over to you, Toby. 交给你了 托比
Thank you, Miranda, Bridget. 真是谢谢你们 米兰达 布里奇特
You couldn't just behave yourselves when the new management team were here? 你们就不能在 新管理团队上任这天好好表现?
They're the new management team? 他们就是新的管理团队?
That is Alice Peabody, new brand manager. 她是爱丽丝·皮博迪 新的品牌经理
Apparently 'Hard News' is too old fashioned, too serious... 显然“时事新闻”太过时 太严肃了...
and she is the smiling assassin, brought in to sack anybody older than her. 而她就是微笑刺客 来暗杀所有比她年纪大的人
Everybody's older than her. I've got tins of soup in my cupboard older than her. 所有人都比她年纪大 我橱柜里有一桶罐头汤 放的时间都比她活得长
Look at them all. With their apps and their ironic beards 看看那群人 拿着那些高科技 还有那些浮夸的胡子
Maybe one of them could get Bridget some sex. 说不定里面有人愿意跟布里奇特来段一夜情
What? - Bridget? Do you need sex? - 什么? - 布里奇特? 你想做爱?
No. - Yes. - 不 - 是的
That's why I'm taking her on an a girls weekend to beat all girls weekends. 所以我才打算 带她度过一个一生难忘的女孩周末
Bridget, isn't it? 布里奇特 是你吧?
Yes, nice to... - Team meeting tomorrow morning. - 是我 很高兴...- 明天早上开会
We can do introductions then. 到时候再做介绍也不迟
Nine a.m. 9点
We should all start an hour earlier from now on. 从现在开始 所有人都最好提前1个小时到
Do you think she saw that? - Quite possibly not. - 你觉得她看到了吗? - 希望没有
And you're sure you don't want to come out with me and my crew? 你确定不需要跟我和我朋友出去庆祝?
Thanks, but can't let the old gang down. 谢谢你的好意 但是我不能丢下我朋友
They're stay at home moms now. They'd be disappointed. 她们现在都是家庭妇女 不叫她们出来玩 她们会不高兴的
（莎瑞尔：抱歉 布里奇特 保姆今天不来了）
（裘德：我得在家照顾宝宝）
（汤姆：躁起来吧 婊子！）
Thank God for the gays. 小基佬们最好了
Now, whatever fears you're bringing in the room with you today... 不管你们今天来这里时 带着多大的怨念...
I want you take those fears and I want you to tell them to fuck the fuck off. 我希望你们现在直视它们 对它们说 给我死一边去
Yeah! 耶!
Are you ready for this? - Yes. - 你们准备好了吗? - 好了
Then ride, you sexy bitches! Ride! 那就用力骑 你们这些性感的小母狗! 使劲骑!
Look, I'm so sorry, Bridget, but I'm actually going to have to blow you out too. 听着 我很抱歉 布里奇特 但我今天也不能陪你出去庆祝了
I didn't want to have to tell you this today, but Eduardo and I are adopting. 我很不想今天跟你说这些 但爱德华多和我准备领养
Adopting? 领养?
What, a baby? - Yes, a baby. - 领养孩子吗? - 当然是孩子
Or gayby, in our case. 或者就我们而言 领养小基宝
That's fantastic news, Tom. 真是个好消息 汤姆
I'm going to Bogota tomorrow to start the paperwork so I've got to go and pack. 我明天就要去波哥大 准备相关的文件了 所以我得回家收拾行李
Wonderful, go. 太好了 你去吧
Happy Birthday. Have fun. 生日快乐 玩得开心
Congratulations. - Thank's darl. - 恭喜你 - 谢谢你 亲爱的
Fucking excellent. 真他妈棒
And that was how I wound up back here again. 这就是我最终 还是得一个人过生日的原因
The last barren husk in London... 这是我在伦敦最空虚寂寞的一天...
and of the two loves of my life, one is married and the other is dead. 因为这一天里我人生中的两个挚爱 一个结婚了 一个死了
Right, new birthday resolutions. 好吧 制定新的生日计划
I, Bridget Jones am done with affairs of the heart... 我 布里奇特·琼斯 要将心中的所有不愉快都忘掉...
and dedicating my autumn years to the pursuit of hedonism. 在我40几岁的成熟期里 要将快乐主义进行到底
Will hang only with new free spirited friends like Miranda... 只交像米兰达这样 积极乐观的朋友...
and when the going gets tough, the tough go on a luxury spa weekend. 当计划进行受阻时 就来一场说走就走的奢侈温泉旅行
What the fuck. 什么情况
Love the shoes. 鞋真漂亮
I didn't tell you, because you wouldn't have come. 我之所以没告诉你 是怕你知道后就不愿意来了
Seriously, it's been five years. 说真的 已经过去5年
You've gotta shake yourself out of this self imposed purge you've been in... 你必须把自己 从碰到你亲爱的马克·达西开始...
ever since you split up with your precious Mark Darcy. 就强加在自己身上的“我必须保持贞洁”这种想法中跳出来
Rubbish. I barely think of him. 胡说 我根本就不在乎他
What you need is a good shafting. 你需要的是一次好的爱爱
You need some good old fashioned, lie back and think of England bonking... 你需要那种老式的 酣畅淋漓的英式性交...
and festivals are sexual free for alls like Sodom and Gomorrah with tofu. 而狂欢节到处都是机会 就像所多玛和俄摩拉城都装满了豆腐一样
First man you meet you've gotta sleep with. 你要跟我们见到的第一个男人上床
The first man? I'm not taking no for an answer. - 第一个男人? - 你不准拒绝
I'm gonna find our backstage passes. You get the maps. 我去拿我们的后台通行证 你去找张地图
Maps. 这里有地图
I may be old and inappropriately dressed, but at least I look fucking amazing. 我或许很老 并且穿着奇怪的衣服 但至少我看起来辣得不行
That's exactly why I didn't wear my heels. 所以我才不喜欢穿高跟鞋
Ding fucking dong. 春天来了吗
May I? 我来帮你吧
Thank you. 谢谢
It fits. 这就是你的鞋
Bridget. 布里奇特
Is that your wicked stepmother? - Yes. - 她就是你那邪恶的继母吗? - 是的
I better go before she has me sweeping fireplaces all day. 我最好现在就过去 免得她让我打扫一天的壁炉
Thank you. - You're welcome. - 谢谢你 - 不用客气
Ah ha. Birthday resolution number two. 啊哈 生日决议第二条
Must remember the way to a man's heart is not through beauty, sex or love... 必须牢记走进 一个男人内心的方式 不是通过美貌 性爱 或是爱...
It's Jack. 我叫杰克
but merely the ability to fall arse over tit in the mud. 仅仅需要你能蠢到 在泥地里摔个大跟头就行了
By the way. 如果你想知道的话
Right. 好吧
Which one's ours? - Let's try up here. - 哪个是我们的帐篷? - 去那边看看吧
And anyway, it's not camping, it's glamping. 这不是露营 这叫豪华野营
Putting a G L in front of it doesn't make it any better. 在单词前面加个G L并不能让这件事听起来有趣些
Calling him Gladolf Hitler wouldn't suddenly make you forget all the unpleasantness. 把希特勒的名字改成格拉道夫·希特勒 也不会突然就让人 把他做过的所有坏事都忘掉
Oh... fuck me! 噢...不是吧!
NGochi. 诺奇
It's 2:30 in the afternoon. I should be Hoovering. 现在是下午2：30 通常情况下我都在家打扫房间呢
（持后台通行证方可入内）
This is incredible. We've got to get a photo. 真是太棒了 我们必须拍一张
Excuse me? 打扰一下
Do you mind if we ask you to take a photo of us? 你介意帮我们拍张照片吗?
Yeah, sure. - Thank you. - 没问题 - 谢谢
Alright. Are you ready? Hey. What're you doing? - 好了 准备好了吗? - 嘿 你在干什么?
I was taking your photo. 在帮你们拍照啊
I thought you guys wanted a photo. - Yeah, we do. Of us. - 你们不是想和我拍照吗 - 是 但只拍我们两个
Yes. Terribly sorry. We thought it'd be really fun to get a photo of us... 是的 非常抱歉 我们觉得 拍一张以这些名流为背景的...
backstage among all these glamorous people. 我们两个的照片会非常有趣
I think that's the guy from 'Bargain Hunt'. 我觉得那个人演过《砍价》
It'd be great if you could get him in the shot. - Quick. Quick. - 如果你能把他也拍进来就最好了 - 快点 快点
So you don't want me in the photo at all? - No, and you can lose the attitude, babe. 所以你们完全不想和我拍照? 不想 而且你可真会毁气氛
Is it really that difficult? 拍张照真的就这么难吗?
They let any old riff-raff backstage nowadays. 他们现在什么乱七八糟的人 都敢放进来
I don't know. I thought he was kind of cute. He looks familiar. 是啊 我感觉他挺可爱的 而且看上去很眼熟
I think he works at the Starbucks at Balham. 他应该是在巴勒姆的星巴克当服务员
One, two, three, singing. 1 2 3 唱
Oh my God. 我的天啊
I know. It's the guy from Starbucks. 我知道 那个星巴克男
Crowdsurfing. 人浪
Miranda. 米兰达
Miranda? 米兰达?
Hey, Miranda. 嘿 米兰达
Oh, God. 噢 天啊
I have to admit, that was fun. 我必须承认 真是太好玩了
And you're right ... 你是对的...
What I need is a good shafting... 我所需要的就是一次难忘的爱爱...
some good old-fashioned, lie back and-think-of-England... 一场老式的 酣畅淋漓的英式...
bonking. 性爱
Well, sign me up. 我报名
Oh my God. 天啊
What are you doing in my yurt? 你在我的帐篷里干什么?
With all your clothes, and luggage and possessions. 还带上你所有的衣服 行李
Yeah, it's as if I've come in, made it my own. 对啊 我进来之后 重新整理了一下
Wait, it's you, the creature from the Black Lagoon. 等等 是你啊 《黑礁》里的主人公
Yes. Sorry. 是我 抱歉
You don't really expect me to believe that you accidentally crashed into my yurt, do you? 你不会真以为我会 认为你是不小心闯进我帐篷里来的 对吧?
Since you're here, maybe I can help you. 既然你来了 或许我可以帮帮你
Well, he is the first man I met... 他是我遇见的第一个男人...
and his yurt is one heck of a lot nicer than mine. 而且他的帐篷确实比我们那儿好多了
Bridget, where the fuck are you? 布里奇特 你他妈去哪儿了?
Bridget, I'm so pissed. 布里奇特 我很生气
Bridget. 布里奇特
I'm zorbing with Ed Sheeran. 我在和艾德·希兰玩悠波球
Oh, God. 噢 天啊
I just slept with a complete stranger. I'm nothing but a feckless prostitute. 我和一个完全的陌生人做了爱 我真是一个没用的妓女
No, no. I'm an elegant older woman taking men for my own pleasure. 不不 我只是一个 优雅的老女人 为了满足一己私欲 到处找男人而已
Or am I just a deluded middle-aged fool? 或者我只是一个被欺骗的中年傻瓜?
Oh, fuck it. 噢 不管了
Miranda? 米兰达?
Good morning. 早上好
So it lasted six hours? 持续了6个小时?
What lasted six hours, mum? 什么持续了6个小时 妈妈?
A puppet show that Auntie Bridget went to. 布里奇特姑妈去参加的一个木偶秀
A six-hour puppet show? - Hello. - 一个6小时的木偶秀? - 你好
Tell me, were they little puppets or...? 快告诉我 表演的是小木偶还是...?
Very nice size puppets. 大小非常不错的木偶
And did he... 那他...
put his puppet in your mouth? 有把木偶放进你嘴里吗?
God! I feel like my days of puppet shows are behind me. 天啊! 我感觉我参加木偶秀的时光一去不复返了
I've had finger puppets. 我只有手指木偶
And has he called? - It doesn't work like that any more. - 他有打电话来吗? - 现在已经不兴这一套了
You just hook up with rugged troubadors at music festivals... 你在音乐节上随便勾搭一个民谣歌手...
and there are no strings. 开心之后就不再联系
Puppets with no strings. 是没有绳子牵引的木偶
Take the wings off. They're for little girls. 把翅膀拿下了 小女孩才戴那个
Hello? - Where the fuck are you? - 喂 - 你他妈在哪儿?
Speeding through lovely countryside on our way to your christening. 正在急速穿过优美的 乡间小路 来参加你的洗礼仪式
No we're not. Why is auntie Bridget lying? 我们没有啊 为什么布里奇特姑妈要撒谎?
Bridge, I thought you should know after Tom dropped out... 布里奇特 我觉得应该告诉你 汤姆有事不能出席...
Giles asked Mark to be the godfather. - What? - 所以贾尔斯邀请马克来当孩子的教父 - 什么?
He did what? 他干了什么?
Yes I know. He really is a useless cock. 我知道 他就是这么没用
Did it without asking me. 竟然没和我讨论
Oh my God. Mark Darcy again. 我的天啊 又是马克·达西
Twice in the space of a week I turn up at church as rent-a-spinster. 我作为一个大龄剩女 一周连续两次和他在教堂碰面
Where the fuck were you? 你他妈去哪儿了?
Sorry. 抱歉
Good morning and welcome. 早上好 欢迎你
Well, this isn't embarrassing at all. Mark Darcy and I at the altar with a baby. 这一点都不尴尬 马克·达西 我和一个宝宝一起站在圣坛上
That's lovely. 非常好
Ok, now, nice big smiles. Look at me. Thank you. 现在 都笑得开心点 看着我 谢谢配合
Lovely. 很好
Ok, can I just get the godparents now please. 现在我想拍几张只有教父教母的照片
How are you? - Very well, thank you. How are you? - 你好吗? - 还不错 谢谢 你呢?
Well, thank you. Mm. - 很好 谢谢 - 恩
Are you here with your wife? I can't remember her name... 你是和你妻子一起来的吗?我记不清她的名字了...
Camilla. No, eh, no, she couldn't make it. 卡蜜拉 不 没有 她没时间
Are you here with anyone? - No, no. Not today, no. - 你有伴吗? - 不 今天没有
Come on, it's not a funeral. 别这样 这又不是参加葬礼
Can I get a couple of smiles out of you two, please? 你们能笑一下吗?
Maybe give her a little kiss you know, on the forehead, there. 可以的话 给她一个吻 在前额上
Ah, I was talking about the baby. 啊 我说的是吻小宝宝
Lovely. 很好
Alright. I'll see you later, shouldn't wonder. - 好了 - 以后见 你不应该到处乱跑
Yes, unless I make a break for it with this thing. 没错 除非我想摔坏这个小东西
Could this day actually get any more awkward? 今天还能再尴尬点吗?
Just keep walking, keep walking, keep walking. Keep walking. 继续走 别回头 继续走 别回头
Hello. - Hello. - 你好 - 你好
How are you? - Very well, thanks. - 你好吗? - 很好 谢谢
How are you? - I'm fine. - 你呢? - 我很好
So am I. 我也是
Well, goodbye. - Goodbye. - 那再见 - 再见
A glass of wine. - A whiskey, please. - 给我一杯酒 - 一杯威士忌
Big, big glass. - Double. - 很大一杯 - 双份
Thank you. 谢谢
I'd ask you to join me, but I'm pretty sure you're not a big Gangnam Style kind of guy. 我很想邀请你一起跳 但我知道你不是那种喜欢跳《江南style》的人
I was only there very briefly. - Where? - 我只在那边待过很短一段时间 - 在哪儿?
Gangnam. 江南
What are we talking about? - Gangnam, dancing. - 我们到底在谈什么? - 《江南style》那支舞
Not the suburb of Seoul? - No. - 不是首尔的郊区? - 不是
I'm not familiar with Gangnam, the suburb. - It literally means south of the Han River. 我不是很熟悉江南 那个郊区 它指的是汉江的南边
It was inhabited as early as the Paleolithic period. 旧石器时代那块地就存在了
Suddenly seems so much less catchy. 越来越听不懂了
Now something for you lovers out there. 下面这首歌送给在座的小情侣们
We are entering the erection section. Don't say fucking erection at a christening. 下面进入勃起阶段 别在洗礼这天说“勃起”这个词
Would you like to get some air? 你想出去透透气吗?
I mean, some more air. 这里挺闷的
Sure. 好啊
I don't suppose you happen to have a cigarette? - No. - 你不会碰巧身上有烟吧? - 没有
I gave up 1891 days ago. 我1891天前就戒了
Not that people're counting. 居然有人还会计天数
Since when did you smoke? - I don't. - 你什么时候开始抽烟了? - 我没有
It's been a tense time. 只是现在气氛很微妙
Maybe I'm nervous. 或许是我有些紧张
Why? 为什么?
You have a train in your hair. 你头发里有一辆火车
I'm aware of that. 我知道
Courtesy of one of my many godchildren. 是我众多教子中的某一个 送给我的礼物
Seems to be stuck. 看样子是卡住了
And this would be... 那这个是...
Cake? - Profiterole. - 蛋糕? - 泡芙
That's technically more of a dessert, I suppose. 严格意义上来说 它应该算是一种甜品
What're you doing? You're married. - No, I'm not. - 你在干什么?你已经结婚了 - 不 我没有
I mean, I'm getting a divorce. 事实上 我马上就要离婚了
That's why she's not here. 所以她今天才没来
Why were you together at the memorial? 那追悼会那天你们为什么在一起?
She was just being supportive. 她只是出于支持
She's gone back to The Hague, where she's now living, and I'm not. 她现在已经回海牙了 她家就在那边
Oh, I'm so sorry, Mark. 噢 我很遗憾 马克
At this precise moment I'm not sorry at all. 如果能换来现在这美好的时刻 我一点都不遗憾
How the fuck am I supposed to get in here? 这衣服到底该怎么解?
Again? 还要来?
Mr. Darcy, wow. 达西先生 哇
Bridget? 布里奇特?
God, I've missed you. 天啊 我想死你了
Are we on schedule? 你有事吗?
I have a flight to Khartoum tomorrow. 我明天要飞喀土穆
I'm so sorry, Mark. Had to leave. 对不起 马克 我必须得离开
It probably sounds pathetic, but I got scared. 这可能听起来很可悲 但我害怕了
The fact that we went 'round and 'round for the best part of ten years... 我们俩在最美好的10年里 一直分分合合 合合分分...
without ever making it across the finish line leads me to think... 但终究都没能 跨过爱情的终点线 这让我开始相信...
we did the best thing by ending it when we did. 终结这段感情 是我们做过的最正确的决定
Sometimes it feels scary still being on my own at 43. 有时想想 我都43岁了 可还是单身 这确实挺吓人的
But you and I have been here once before. 但你我之前确实拥有过一段美好的时光
We always loved the fantasy of us... 我们都愿意或者彼此的美好幻想中...
But the reality, as we both know, is quite different. 但我们都知道 现实却是截然不同的
We could both come up with a 100 reasons why we didn't make it... 我们都可以列出100个理由来回答它...
but in the end I always felt that you were never there and I was mostly alone. 但最后 我总是觉得 你从来都没有真正守护我 而我到头来还是孤身一人
No, can't go back and keep making same mistakes. 不行 不能回头 再去犯相同的错误了
Must keep moving forward and make new ones. 必须向前看 要犯就犯新的错误
And will lodge myself into frenzied keep fit regimes. 把自己投入进疯狂的瘦身计划之中
And allowing 4 weeks to reduce thighs circumference... 给自己4周时间 缩小大腿的腿围...
to squeeze largy ass into teenage skinny jeans... 好让自己日趋肥大的屁股 能够塞进紧身牛仔裤当中...
Obviously not meant for women of a certain age. 很显然 这些裤子的设计从一开始 就没考虑过中年妇女
All this bloody cycling is pointless. I'm putting on weight. 这些周而复始的运动根本就没有用 我还是胖了
Let's rule out some of the other options, shall we? You're not pregnant, are you? 我们来想想其他的原因吧 好吗?你没有怀孕吧?
Of course not. 当然没有
A lady is always prepared and I always carry these in my handbag. 作为一名女性就得时刻做好准备 我手提包里永远都装着这些
Oh, God! You didn't use those, the vegan condoms? 天啊!你不会真用的这个吧 素食主义避孕套?
Biodegradable and dolphin friendly. 可生物降解 且不会危及海豚生命的产品
If I'm going to be slutty, it's nice to think I'm helping the environment. 如果我真的打算放荡下去 能为环保做出一份贡献 也是不错的
Christ, Bridget. I remember when you bought those. 天啊 布里奇特 我记得这一盒你是什么时候买的
That was decades ago. 有几十年了吧
Sell by dates don't mean anything. 保质期根本就是胡扯
Do they? 是吧?
They were a gift. Don't ask. 都是别人送我的 别问了
Tumbling rapids, frothing waterfalls... 水流湍急 瀑布飞泻...
babbling brook. 潺潺流水
Oh, come the fuck on, Bridget. 你倒是快尿啊 布里奇特
How long do you think it takes? 结果要等多久?
I think that's a positive result. 我觉得应该是有了
Pregnant “怀孕”
I'll just make sure. - Don't shake it. - 我再确认一下 - 别摇了
You'll hurt the baby. - The baby is not in the stick. - 会伤到宝宝的 - 宝宝又不是在验孕棒里
I think this is when you're meant to... 我觉得 这个时候 你应该...
jump for joy. 开始欢呼雀跃了
Oh my God. - You're pregnant. - 我的天啊 - 你怀孕了
I'm pregnant. - You're pregnant. - 我怀孕了 - 你怀孕了
I'm pregnant. - You're going to have a baby. - 我怀孕了 - 你就要有小宝宝了
I'm going to have a baby. 我就要有小宝宝了
I'm going to have a baby. - Yes. - 我就要有小宝宝了 - 是我
If you've got footage of her punching a horse, I want it. 如果你有她打马的照片 马上发给我
Bridget, do you want a baby? - I don't know. - 布里奇特 你想要孩子吗? - 我也不知道
I mean, I'm 43. 我已经43岁了
It might be the only chance I'm going to get. 或许这是我怀上孩子的唯一机会
One broken, out of date condom I might have believed was an acciddent. 因为一个破掉的 过期的避孕套 让我怀上孩子 这应该算是意外
But two? 两个人?
You wanted it. 你想要孩子
Maybe I did. 是的
Can we get a medic please? 找个医生来 可以吗?
Oh my God. I'm pregnant. 我的天啊 我怀孕了
This is it. 我终于有孩子了
More to the point, whose is it? 但更重要的是 谁才是孩子的爸爸?
This is not how I thought this moment would be. 这跟我想象中的情景不一样
I always imagined myself in 'OK!' magazine with the man of my dreams. 我一直幻想自己和我的梦中情人 一起登上《0K!》杂志
Oh Christ! Too many dilemmas to ponder. 天啊!有太多问题需要思考
Not least of all... 其中相当重要的一点...
Who was that man I shagged in a tent? 那个和我在帐篷里 睡了一觉的男人是谁?
And so you're age will be 43? 你马上就要满43岁了?
So, umm... 那么 额...
Which of the times with my wonderful man do you think we got pregnant on? 你觉得我是在 哪一天和我家相公愉快时 怀上的?
Does it matter? 很重要吗?
Well, yes, it's such a special moment. 是的 毕竟那一天很特别
We'd like to know which one it is so we can treasure it. 我们想知道这孩子究竟是哪一天怀上的 这样我们才能好好纪念
Can't you treasure both of them? - Yes, we will, we do. - 不能两天都纪念吗? - 会的 我们会的
But surely one of those days is more likely than the other? 但总有一天比另一天怀上的机率大点 对吧?
Well, actually, day 10, which was his birthday, is a little early. 事实上 10号那天 是他的生日 这天早了点
And day 16 which was the... - Anniversary dinner. - 而16号...- 是周年纪念日
Oh yes, the Osso Buco, I recall, is a little late. 是的 你们吃的炖小牛肘 我想起来了 又有点晚了
Are you sure there wasn't another treasurable occasion in between? 你确定在这两天之间 你们没有再那个什么一次?
Yes, I'm quite sure. He was away. 是的 我非常确定 那时候他不在家
So which of the two would you go for? 那这两天你更倾向于哪一天?
Couldn't say. They're both equally likely. It could have been after the event. 这不好说 两天可能性差不多 也有可能是在完事之后怀上的
Because as you know, sperm can live for several days after ejaculation. 因为你要知道 精子可以在体内保存好几天时间
Couldn't you just have a guess for me? - No. - 你就不能猜一下? - 不行
What about the first scan? Would that show when conception took place? 第一次扫描呢? 可以看出来受孕是在什么时候吗?
No. Ring this number to fix a date. 不能 记得打这个电话来预约
And do bring along the father, if you can work out which one he is. 如果你能确定父亲是谁 一定要把他也带过来
Right. 好吧
Just out of interest... If someone did have an element of confusion about the father... 好奇问一下...如果真的有人 搞不清楚父亲究竟是谁...
Well, you can get a DNA sample at the amniocentesis, and I do recommend that you have 你可以通过羊膜穿刺术 取得孩子的DNA小样 我也建议你进行羊膜穿刺
the amniocentesis, because there are always more risks with a geriatric mother. 因为对于年纪较大的孕妇来说 生小孩的风险也相应较大
Geriatric? Hmm. - 年纪大? - 恩
That's outrageous. - Indeed. - 可真是让人难以接受 - 确实
Unless you can sign on for your child support and pension at the same time. 除非你能同时 签署子女抚养金和退休金
That's hilarious. 真好笑
It's called "news" 'cause it should feel new. 新闻之所以叫“新”闻那是因为它必须听上去很新潮
Otherwise, it be called "olds". 不然 就应该改名字叫“旧闻”
Sorry. 抱歉
Last night. Top stories. 昨晚 各大媒体的头条都是
Earthquake in Asia, seen it before. 亚洲发生地震 见过太多
Car crash on the M5... Blah blah blah 5号公路发生车祸...诸如此类的废话
We're making 'old's. We need to flip the switch, mix it up. 我们都在播报“旧闻” 我们必须做出改变
I want a new triple on the shit out. - She's on the warpath. - 我需要一个新的3人小组处理这个问题 - 她心情很不好
Susan, the floor manager's gone. - She's six months pregnant. - 苏珊 那个舞台监督被开除了 - 她怀孕6个月了
We've got to grab the attention, get the eyes on the screen. 我们必须吸引住大家的眼球 让他们对我们的新闻感兴趣
I want to see headlines like: "Is Your Sofa Bed Giving You Cancer?" 我想要看到诸如 “沙发床会成为癌症诱因吗?”
"Is Your Freezer Giving You Alzheimers?" - Oh my God. Are they? 这样的标题 - 天啊 这是真的吗?
Literally no evidence whatsoever, but you're missing the point. You're intrigued, aren't you? 理论上来说 这些都没有科学依据 但你没有抓住我说的重点 你感兴趣了 不是吗?
I want to reload 'Hard News' with a clear new objective. 我想给“时事新闻”装上一个全新的形象
We have a presentation in twelve weeks at the London Media Show... 12周后 我们在伦敦媒体秀上 有一段展示...
and I'm looking for someone dynamic, innovative, focused... 我需要找一个充满活力的 有创新精神的 有专注力的人...
to lead the charge. Any volunteers? 来领导这次活动 有志愿者吗?
Whatever happens now, must hold on to job. 不管现在发生什么 都得保住自己的工作
Must prove to fascist boss that I may be single mother... 必须向我恶毒的老板证明 我或许是一个单身母亲...
but am willing to roll with the ironic bearded hipsters. 但我愿意和这些 留着奇异胡子的潮人混在一起
Anybody at all? 没有人吗?
Do you need to leave, Bridget? - No, I want to volunteer. - 你有事想离开吗 布里奇特? - 不 我自愿参加
Hashtag: "Let's do this!" “一起干吧!”
It's me. Turn on your TV now. Look at your TV. Now. Now. Now. Turn on Channel 4. 是我 快把电视打开 好好看 快 快 快 转到4频道
Bridget, I've found him. He's the dating website guru. 布里奇特 我找到他了 他是交友网站的创始人
See, you have to trust the science. Algorithms don't lie. 看吧 你们必须相信科学 运算法则是不会说谎的
You slept with a fucking billionaire. 你居然睡了一个亿万富翁
So, tell us, Bridget. 快告诉我们布里奇特
What was it that initially attracted you to the billionaire Jack Qwant? 亿万富翁杰克·科万特 一开始是他身上的什么特质吸引了你?
Was it his face, or his body? Big dick? - I'd do it with him, obviously. 是他的样子 还是身材? - 大鸡吧? - 很显然 我都愿意上他
If I were you I wouldn't tell either of them. 如果我是你 我就不会告诉他们中的任何一个人
All you need is a DNA sample from one of them and then you can eliminate the other one from your enquiries. 你只需要取得其中一个人的DNA小样 这样自然就能排除或是确定另一个人的身份
What would I say to Mark? "Hello Mark, I know I just left you asleep... 那我该怎么跟马克说? “你好 马克” “我知道我之前不告而别...”
but do you have any blood, sperm or old fingernails lying around? " “但你有不要的血” “精子或是剪下来的指甲壳吗?”
How do you even get in touch with Jack? 那你要怎么联系上杰克?
Yeah. 是啊
He is a bloody mogul. Can't just ring him up. 他是个有权有势的人 我不能就这么给他打电话
I may have just figured out how to win favour with new boss... 我或许已经想出了既能博取新老板欢心...
and eliminate one father from my enquiries. 又能确定宝宝父亲身份的两全之计
I have to say, Bridget, I'm actually excited by this next guest. 我不得不说 布里奇特 下个受访人确实让我很兴奋
Relevant, relatable, extremely fuckable. Good work. 有卖点 有观众缘 并且很帅 干得漂亮
Welcome to CSI Hard News. 欢迎来到“时事新闻之犯罪现场调查”
Thank you my love. If you could just fuck off that'd be great. 谢谢你亲爱的 但如果你能死开 那就最好不过了
Jack, this is Cathy. She'll get you ready. 杰克 这位是凯西 她会帮你做播录前准备
Hi, Cathy, nice to meet you. -I was thinking, just a simple magenta eyeshadow... - 嗨 凯西 很高兴认识你 - 我在想 一个简单的紫红色眼影...
to make your eyes pop and a little bit of rouge, maybe? 来突显你的眼睛 然后再涂点口红如何?
Kidding. - You funny. - 开玩笑的 - 你真幽默
You do happen to have a little stray gray hair. 你头上有一根白头发
Oh, Jesus. - That's it. - 天啊 - 好了
Actually, there's a whole gray patch. Shall I just... let me see? 事实上 这里还有一撮白头发 让我来...我可以修一下吗?
Yes, my hair is full of gray hair. - Well, that's sorted. - 没错 我头上白头发最多了 - 好了 搞定了
Jesus Christ. - All gone, that's lovely. - 我的天啊 - 都没了 非常好
These fingernails on this silver fox could do with a bit of a trim, couldn't they? 你这匹银狐身上的指甲 好像需要修剪一下 不是吗?
These hands haven't experienced much manual labour, have they? 这双手一看就是没做过什么粗活的 对吧?
No, I'm a mathematician. - They're silky soft. - 对 我是个数学家 - 摸上去真柔和
Tell me, Jack. Do you happen to like Chinese food? 告诉我 杰克 你不会碰巧也喜欢吃中国菜吧?
Jack, let me take you to the set. Great, thank you. I do sometimes. Thank you. 杰克 我带你去录制现场吧 好的 谢谢 我还蛮喜欢的 谢谢你
I don't think she put any makeup on me. - It's fine. You're looking radiant. 她并没有给我化什么妆啊 没关系 你看上去很迷人
Ok, coming out of ET in five, four... And remember the gear change. 直播准备 5 4...注意切换镜头
And Miranda, cue. - Now, though, I'm joined by Jack Qwant. - 米兰达 开始 - 现在 我们请到了杰克·科万特
Raised by a single mother in Baltimore, he created the matchmaking website Qwantify... 出身在巴尔的摩的一个单亲家庭 他创立了相亲网站“科万特家园”...
and he claims to have found an algorithm for love. 而且他声称 自己演算出了爱的方程
And he's here today to tell us all about his number one bestseller Qwantum Leap '. 今天他将和我们分享 关于他的畅销书《科万量子迁跃》的故事
It is absolutely wonderful to have you on our sofa today. - Thank you. It's great to be here. 非常高兴你能够来参加 - 我们的采访 - 谢谢 能来这里是我的荣幸
Now, we'll talk all about your new book soon, obviously. - Yes. But first let's talk about romance. 这样 我们等一会再聊你写的新书的事 - 很显然 - 没错 首先我们来谈谈关于恋爱的事
Qwantify has found true love for millions. “科万特家园”已经为近百万人寻得了真爱
Monitor two. - Does it work for you? - 2号机 - 那你呢?
Now if I answer that can we go back and talk about the book? 如果我回答完这个问题 我们可以回到新书的话题上吗?
Maybe. 你猜
Can you please try not to shag him on air? 你可以不要问他这么私密的问题吗?
This is dynamite. Tell her to flirt with him more. 要得就是这个效果 让她再挑逗他一下
Some people had their first crush on Farrah Fawcett. 有些人的初恋是法拉·福赛特
My first crush was an algorithm. - And we've lost him. - 而我的初恋是一个公式 - 他不按套路出牌
If he carries on talking about algorithms I'm putting to the VT of cats who look like Hitler. 如果他继续讲公式的事情 我就要将画面 转切为一张长得像希特勒的猫的照片
Back to four. Love it. 转回4号机 就是这样
He's avoiding the question. Get him off maths. 他在回避问题 不要让他谈关于数学的事
Ask him if he's with someone now. 问他现在是否有跟谁在交往
For someone so good at match-making... 作为一个如此会帮人牵线的人...
is there a special someone in your life? 你自己生活中有那个特别的她吗?
Apart from Lady Mary on 'Downton Abbey'? Now can we go ahead and talk about the book? 除开《唐顿庄园》里的玛丽夫人吗? 我们现在可以聊聊新书的话题了吧?
Cue the Hitler cats. - Don't be evasive. - 转接希特勒猫的照片 - 请不要避而不谈
Well, don't be evasive. 请不要避而不谈
It's apparant you have everything. Why have you chosen to have no family? 显然你拥有一切 但为什么你选择 不组建自己的家庭?
Why the decision to have no family? - No children. - 为什么不组建属于自己的家庭? - 不要孩子
And no children? 不要孩子?
Brilliant. Zoom in on four. 非常好 4号机拉近
And in on four. - Love it. - 4号机准备 - 很好
Look, I love kids... 听着 我很爱小孩子...
but I've always found the idea of being a father myself kind of petrifying. 但我每次想到 自己要当父亲了 就会非常害怕
Which is why I've been drawn to algorithms. - Cue the Hitler cats. 所以我才会如此痴迷于运算法则 转切希特勒猫的画面
They're rational, reliable, predictable, everything a kid isn't. 它们都非常的理性 可靠 并且可预测 这些特质都是小孩没有的
So, can you have children? - Can you have children, though? - 那么你有生育能力吗? - 那你有生育能力吗?
Are the soldiers working? - Are the soldiers working? - 小弟弟还能行吗? - 小弟弟还能行吗?
Well I believe so. The barracks are in pretty regular use. 我觉得可以 平常都有做适当的练习
Really? - Really? - Yes. - 真的? - 真的? - 没错
Because for someone with a supposed algorithm for love... 因为作为一个推算出恋爱公式的人...
Isn't it odd that you've never found it? 你自己却没有找到真爱 这样不会太奇怪了吗?
Well, I think in order to find something you have to be actively looking for it. 我认为如果你想追寻某事 你就必须要付诸实际 动身去努力争取
I've just been too busy; I haven't... 但是我太忙了 我没有...
What about the Qwant family bloodline? - And what about the Qwant family bloodline? 那科万特家族的血统如何?
Are there any skeletons in the closet? - Sexual deviants? - Sexual deviants? 有没有什么见不人的秘密? - 有没有性变态者? - 有没有性变态者?
Sorry, I don't know where we're going with all of this... 抱歉 我不知道这些问题和我的书有什么关系...
but I have to tell you, I can attract the wrong type of women. 但我不得不说 我确实会喜欢上不该喜欢的人
That's really great. Thank you for sharing that with us. 非常好 感谢你愿意和我们分享
Bridget, what are you doing? 布里奇特 你在干嘛?
You wouldn't believe some of the weirdos that cross my path. 你不会相信 有哪些怪人曾经出现在我的生活中过
Really? - Get up. - 真的吗? - 快起来
Can you tell me what she's doing? 有人能告诉我 她在干什么吗?
Ask him something about algorithms. - Have to be the last question. Have to be. 问他关于算式的问题 这是最后一个问题了 不能再问了
Lastly, algorithms. - Yes. - 最后一个问题 是关于算式的 - 好的
What first attracted you to them? - The logic and... - 你一开始是怎么喜欢上算式的? - 它们逻辑的严密...
Wonderful, Jack Qwant, thank you for coming on my sofa. 非常好 杰克·科万特 谢谢你来参加我们的采访
I hope you've had as much fun as I have. - Jesus. - 希望你度过了一段难忘的时光 - 天啊
That's it from me. Goodbye. 今天的新闻就到这里 再见
That was great. - You look really familier, outside of being on the show. - 你表现得很棒 - 你看起来有些眼熟 好像在其他地方见过你
Are you on Tinder? - What? - 你有上过陌陌吗? - 那是什么?
Then we won't have met. - No, okay. - 那我们就不可能见过 - 好吧
Well hey, how about seeing you here. - Hi. - 嘿 真没想到能在这里见到你 - 嗨
Great to see you. - Good to see you too. - 很高兴见到你 - 我也是
I was going to come and find you to say hello, but you know how live TV can be, so chaotic. 我本来打算过去找你 然后跟你打个招呼的 但是你知道的 电视直播嘛 场面非常的混乱
Well, you know, there are easier ways to get in touch with me without inviting me on national TV... 你知道吗 其实要想联系我 有更简单的方式 不用邀请我来参加国家电视台的采访...
and asking me about my sperm. - What? No, that's not what... - 然后问我关于精子的问题 - 什么?不 这不是...
I would've liked to have heard from you. 我非常想要接到你的电话
I was disappointed when I came back that morning, and you were gone. 那天早上 我回来发现你已经走了 我非常难过
You were? - We had an amazing night. - 真的吗? - 我们度过了一个难忘的夜晚
And I thought you were great. At least I did until I became a clip... 我觉得你非常棒 至少在我变成有史以来...
of the 15 most embarrassing chat show moments of all time. 最尴尬的15个电视采访镜头中的一员之前 我还是那么认为的
Really sorry about that. Yes that... 对此我很抱歉 是的...
I don't know how to explain. 我不知道该怎么解释
I'm pregnant. - Wow. Okay. - 我怀孕了 - 哇 好吧
It's so much better than you being mentally unbalanced. 这总比你说 你自己精神失常好点
I'm about twelve weeks. 怀了12个星期
Oh. Right. Wow. 好吧 哇
So you mean that... it's the music festival? - Yes. - 你是想说...就是那次音乐节? - 没错
I know, it's quite a surprise. Yes but... 我知道 这个消息挺惊喜的 但是...
I'm fine, and umm... you should know that... 我没事 而且...你要知道...
I don't... I'm not looking for anything from you. 我...并不打算从你这里得到什么
Except for a complete DNA check and a review of my medical records. 除了做一套完整的DNA鉴定 然后查阅我的医疗记录
Well, the thing is, I didn't mean for you to find out about this. 事实就是 其实我不想让你知道这件事的
And, umm, I'm feeling a bit foolish. 而且 我感觉自己真是有点傻
Mortified, actually. Yes, mortified. 不 应该是 非常羞愧
I'd like to just retreat, gracefully? 我想先优雅地离开了 可以吗?
Mr. Qwant, will you sign my book? 科万特先生 你能帮我在书上签个名吗?
Oh God. I didn't even tell him that he may not be the only daddy. 天啊 我甚至都没告诉他 可能是爸爸的不止是他一个人
Christina. - I find this amazing book. - 克莉丝汀娜 - 这本书写得真好
Hey, Kitty Kirk, I need to talk to you. 嘿 狡猾的小猫咪 我要跟你谈谈
What if this DNA turns out to be Jack's? I don't want the father to be Jack. 如果DNA显示 这个孩子就是杰克的怎么办? 我不想孩子的父亲是杰克
I don't even know Jack. And what if it's Mark Darcy's? 我根本就不了解他 那万一是马克·达西的怎么办?
Christ. I'll have to confess to him that I've been a whore with dolphin condoms. 天啊 这样我就必须得向他坦白 我是一个随身带着过期避孕套的荡妇
Good. 很好
So the baby's ok? - Perfect. - 宝宝健康吗? - 非常健康
See? - Oh my God. Is that it? - 看到了吗? - 天啊 这就是宝宝吗?
And it's alright? - Sound as a bell. Cooking Nicely. - 他还好吗? - 心跳非常平和 很健康
Have a listen. 你自己听听看
There you are. 听到了吧
I've recorded that for you. You can watch that for a moment. 我把声音帮你录起来了 你可以自己先看看他
So glad you decided on the amniocentesis. 真高兴你选择了做羊膜穿刺
Hello you. 你好啊
Is that your ear or your foot? You have got very big feet. 那是你的耳朵还是小脚丫啊?你的脚可真大
Oh, look at you. Waving already. 噢 快看看你 这么小就会招手了
You're the best thing I've ever seen. 你是我这辈子见过的 最美好的事物
I promise I'll try my best. 我保证我会竭尽全力
So just stay safe and snug in there... 你一定要小心 好好地待在里面...
while I try and sort the mess out here. And hopefully... 外面的这些混乱的纠纷就交给妈妈 希望...
What the fuck is that? - It's the amniocentesis needle. - 那究竟是什么? - 是做羊膜穿刺的针
We just pop it in, take a little amniotic fluid, test it for any abnormalities... 只需要把它插入 然后沾取一些羊水 检测看看有没有什么异常情况...
and also the DNA sample that you require. 还可以得到你所需要的DNA
Now, there is the slightest risk of miscarriage so you'll have to stay very still indeed... 但是 还是有流产的可能性 虽然非常非常小 但还是得请你千万不要动...
because we don't want the needle to come into contact... - What? - 防止针头可能会接触到小宝宝...- 什么?
No, no. I'm not taking that chance. 不 不 我不要冒这个险
It's enormous. It'd go straight through the other side. 这针也太长了 简直可以从另一边穿出来了
Come on, I'm taking you home. 宝宝乖 妈妈带你回家
Your mother will be over the moon. - Will you promise not to tell her? 你妈妈一定会高兴死的 你能保证不告诉她吗?
Just not yet. - No, of course. I promise. - 至少现在先不要说 - 当然 我保证
I'm really sorry, dad, not to know about the father. 我真的很抱歉 爸爸 不知道孩子的父亲是谁
Don't be daft. 别傻了
I know dozens of people who could have been anybodys. - So you're not disappointed? 我认识一大堆不知道自己 - 父母是谁的人 - 所以你没有不高兴?
You don't think I belong on Jerry Springer? - Not a bit, I'm thrilled. 你不觉得我是杰里·斯普林格的女儿了? 我一点都不生气 我高兴都还来不及
Actually I'm not sure if you're mine or that nice lieutenant colonel who's 'round the bowls club. 事实上我也不确定你到底是我女儿 还是那个保龄球俱乐部的 帅气的陆军中校的女儿
Only joking. 我开玩笑的
You've got my feet. I've always had very dainty feet. 你长了和我一样的脚 我们的脚都很漂亮
Just tell the truth, Bridget. You can't go too far wrong, telling the truth. 实话实说吧 布里奇特 把实话说出来 就一定不会有错的
Mark, I have some exciting news. Mark, I have the funniest story to tell you. 马克 我有个好消息告诉你 马克 告诉你一个非常搞笑的故事
Mark, I'm up the duff. 马克 我怀孕了
My lords, my ladies. 先生们 女士们
There is only one fraud committed here today and it is this. 今天只有一个人犯了欺诈罪
To use the laws of one country to destroy the freedom of speech of another. 就是那些动用国家的法律 来摧毁他人言语自由权利的人
A cynical political expedient to take away the right of these brave young women... 一种打着权宜之计的幌子 实则剥夺这些勇敢的年轻少女...
to speak the truth about the country they love. 为自己所爱的国家发声的 自私的政治手段
Now you may not like their music and for that I cannot blame you. 可能现在你们不能接受她们的音乐 就这一点我不能加罪于你
They may not have mastered the fundamentals of melody... or even the most basic tenents of musicianship. 她们可能并不能很好地掌握乐理知识... 甚至连最基本的演奏技巧都不知道
but this is the land of Shakespeare, Orwell, Lawrence ... 但这片土地孕育了莎士比亚 奥威尔 劳伦斯...
I'd forgotten just how hot he is in that wig and gown. 我已经忘了他穿着礼袍 戴着假发的样子有多帅了
... to any country, any ruler, any despot, that here in the United Kingdom... ...对于每个国家 每个统治者 每个专制者而言都是如此 而如今在英国...
we will always defend and protect women such as these who have selflessly and courageously... 我们必须捍卫并且保护 像她们这样的女人 如此无私 而勇敢地 冒着她们的自由...
risked their liberty and quite possibly their lives... 甚至是生命 讲出真相 敢于发声...
to tell the truth. 的权利
The court will now adjourn and judgement will be given... 法院将会休庭 审议结果将会在下次开庭时...
Poonani! Poonani! Power to the Poonani! Power to the Poonani! - Christ. 普拉尼!普拉尼!给予普拉尼权利! - 给予普拉尼权利! - 天啊
Looking forward to going back to some good old fashioned genocide. 期望回到 旧时的大屠杀当中去
Order. 肃静
Right. How to do this? 好吧 应该怎么开口呢?
I didn't expect to see you again after the events at the christening. 我没想到在发生了 洗礼仪式那天的事后 还能再见到你
Crap. He's dived right in. 糟糕 他真是开门见山
No, right. I understand. Maybe flattery will work. 没错 我能理解 或许说几句好话能缓解一下气氛
You were very impressive in there today. - Thank you. - 你刚刚的表现真是棒极了 - 谢谢
Although dealing with them over the last month has given me a certain amount of sympathy... 但是上个月在处理这个案件时 我倒是对那些想要压制她们声音的...
for the totalitarian dictator who wants to silence them. 极权主义的独裁者们感到深深的同情
Okay, jokes. I'll laugh harder next time. 好吧 这是个笑话 下次我一定笑得用力点
There's only a certain number of times that one can listen to the... 对于一个人来说 想要认真听完诸如“月经 阉割 解放”...
resolutely un-catchy "Menstruation, Castration, Liberation." 这种毫无美感 毫不上口的歌 是件很困难的事
Mark, that's hilariously funny. 马克 这真是太好笑了
Please. 请坐
So. - So, Mark. - 所以 - 所以 马克
Yes. 什么事
The gardens look lovely. Autumnal. - Yes. - 秋天的花园看上去真美 - 没错
Is that a conker tree? - Bridget. - 那是棵七叶树吗? - 布里奇特
I am pregnant. 我怀孕了
Right. Well, congratulations. 好吧 那祝贺你
How can I help? 我能帮上什么忙吗?
I'm three months pregnant. 我怀孕3个月了
Oh. 噢
You mean the christening? 你是说是因为洗礼仪式那天?
Yes. 没错
Would you excuse me for just a moment. 介意我出去一下吗
I think that this is quite possibly the most wonderful 我觉得这可能是我这辈子
piece of information I have ever received in my entire life. 听到的最美好的消息了
Oh! 噢!
Ok. 好吧
Of course I've got no expectations about how things should work out. I just thought you should know. 当然我并没有想好之后该怎么办 但是我觉得你应该知情
No, of course. 当然
I mean, how do you feel? Are you happy? - Yes, I am. - 你感觉如何?高兴吗? - 是的 我很高兴
So much has happened in the past ten years. A lot has changed. 过去10年发生了太多事情 现在已经时过境迁了
I mean, you've been married, and I've been... 我是说 你都已经结婚了 而我一个人...
on a number of long haul holidays. 度过了好几个又长又臭的假期
But... So here goes on Jack. 但是...该说杰克的事了
I mean... - I know about it. - 我是说...- 我知道
It's just right now I can't bring myself to feel gloomy about it. 只是现在我太高兴了 所以根本无法注意过去的遗憾
God, how can I tell him now. 天啊 我现在还怎么说
State of emergency. Cannot sleep. Looping thoughts going round and round in head. 紧急情况 失眠了 脑袋里思绪万千 乱成一团
It's surely weird that tou can do something as complicated and important... 一个人能够完成 像生孩子这种 既复杂又重要的事情...
as growing a baby or invading Iraq without any instruction at all. 又能在毫无指示的情况下 入侵伊拉克 这真是件非常奇怪的事情
I keep thinking all the alcohol I've drunk over the years... 我不停回想着这些年来 我所喝过的酒...
will give the baby fetal alcohol syndrome. 会不会让宝宝患上胎儿醇中毒综合症
These are the things I could do. 接下来是我可以做的事
Tell Mark about Jack... 告诉马克 关于杰克的事...
but risk hurting him so badly I couldn't live with myself. 但是想着这样做会伤透他的心 我又过不了自己这关
Not tell Mark about Jack, but I'd never be able to go through with it. 不告诉马克 杰克的事 但这样 这件事就会成为我一辈子的心结
Tell both of them the other one is the father and then if the one who isn't the father is upset about it... 告诉他们两个人 他们之中只有一个是孩子的父亲 那如果另一个不是孩子父亲的人很伤心怎么办...
Oh Christ. Tell no-one and make a run for it. 天啊 那就什么都别说 逃避现实吧
Hello? - Hey, it's the father of your child. - 你好? - 嘿 我是你孩子的爸爸
Jack? - Yeah, who else? - 杰克吗? - 是我 不然还能是谁?
Come up. Ok. - 上来吧 - 好的
Oh fuckfuckfuck. He's probably employed a team of Google Earth detectives to find me. 该死 该死 该死 他很有可能 雇佣了一整个谷歌地图的团队 来找到我家的位置
Okay, just act naturally. 好吧 表现得自然点就行
Hi. 嗨
Come in. - Okay. - 请进 - 好的
You found it. - Try it on, see if it fits. - 你居然找到了 - 快试试 看看你穿不穿的上
Wow. 哇
I didn't expect to see you. - I wasn't expecting to come. - 真没想到能再见到你 - 我其实也没想到 自己会来找你
I'm not used to being rejected. Twice. 我不太习惯被人拒绝 而且是被拒绝两次
I hope you've got cake in that bag. 我希望你带的袋子里装了蛋糕
Yeah, I've been doing a lot of thinking. 没错 我想了很久
Bridget, the whole baby situation threw me initially. We've squashed an entire relationship into one night... 布里奇特 整个“小宝宝事件”一开始 让我挺不知所措的 我们把一整段交往 就这样浓缩到了一个晚上...
and skipped straight to starting a family phase. 然后就径直迈入家人这个阶段
We never even had a real second date. 我们连一个正式的第二次约会都没有
Just so you know if we did, I would have taken you to Ottolenghi. 如果我们真的约会了 告诉你 我一定带你去奥图蓝吉
You would have had the grilled salmon and pine nuts salsa. 我会给你点一份烤鲑鱼 和萨尔萨酱松仁
Unbelievable and healthy. And we would have come back here... 非常美味并且健康 晚饭之后 我们就会回到这里...
have incredible sex... 云雨一番...
spent the next couple of days sending each other filthy texts. 接下来的几天 就互相发黄色小短信
I would not have let you do that on a second date. 我不会允许你在第二次约会就这样做的
Why not. You let me on the first. 为什么 第一次你就让我做了
And then we'd go on a naughty weekend to the seaside... 然后我们就会一起去海边 度过一个浪荡的周末...
and I would prove my manliness by winning you a cuddly toy... 我会在码头为你赢得一个毛绒玩具 借此发挥自己的...
at the pier. 男友力
I really wanted the giant Scooby-Doo. - Oh, no-body wins that. - 我非常想要那个巨大的史努比公仔 - 噢 没人想要那个
The coconuts are glued on. 那些椰子都是粘上去的
What are those for? - To apologise. - 为什么送我这个? - 为了道歉
We had our first fight. 我们的第一次争吵
I was not flirting with that waitress. She means nothing to me. 我没有对那个服务员眉目传情 她对我而言 一点都不重要
And then I would have... 然后我就会...
bought Swedish furniture for us to make. 买一套瑞典家具 我们一起组装
If we can get through this, we can get through anything. - Anything. 如果这个我都能搞定 - 那所有事我们都能搞定 - 所有事
I find it adorable how your neck gets all blotchy when you get nervous. 你每次紧张的时候 脖子上都会起小红点 真是可爱
And I know you'd be the greatest possible mother to my child. 我也知道 你一定能成为一个好妈妈
Oh no, can not fall in love with shiny new American. 哦不 不能爱上这个新认识的美国有钱人
I'll tell them both tomorrow, definitely. 我明天就向他们两个人坦白 我发誓
Hi. I just wanted to connect, check how the presentation is shaping up. 嗨 我只是过来问问 那个展示准备得怎么样了
Yeah, totally on top of it, Neutra Bulleting the shit out of it. 非常好 一切尽在掌控中 纽佐尔都搞定了
I'm relying on you, Bridget. I need you to get this right. Understand? 都靠你了 布里奇特 只准成功不准失败 明白吗?
100 percent. You can count on me. - Great. - 完全明白 看我的吧 - 那就好
You alright? - I'm fine. - 你没事吧? - 我很好
Big party. I'm so glad to see you back together. 真好 你们能重新在一起很让人高兴
It certainly is Gianni. - Wonderful news, huh? - 确实如此 詹尼 - 真是个好消息 不是吗?
Cheers. 干杯
I was thinking about Jack. If it's a boy, after my grandfather. 杰克怎么样 如果是个男孩 就随我祖父的名字
It's a good strong name. You can rely on Jack. 这是个好名字 你可以考虑一下杰克
Yes, one for the list. 好的 我会考虑的
To Jack. - To Jack. - 敬杰克 - 敬杰克
So this is dad, I presume. 我猜这位就是爸爸了
So glad you're here. It's a unique and wonderful moment. 很高兴你能到场 这一刻非常珍贵与美好
Dr. Rawlings, I wonder if you could maybe do me a little favor. 罗林斯医生 不知道你能不能帮我个小忙
So this is dad, I presume. Pleased to meet you. 我猜这位应该就是爸爸了 很高兴见到你
I'm so glad you could be here. This is a unique and wonderful moment. 你能到场真是太好了 毕竟这一刻非常珍贵并且美好
Before we start, would you like to know the sex? - We should be prepared. 开始前 你们想知道 - 孩子的性别吗? - 我们应该提前做好准备
I'm not sure... - It's a boy. - 我不确定...- 是个男孩
A boy. - Our boy. - 男孩 - 我们的儿子
My boy. 是个儿子
Okay, right. This time I have to tell them. We'll start with Jack. 好吧 这一次我必须告诉他们 先从杰克开始
Have invited him for big scary work presentation and will explain all afterwards. 我邀请他来参加这次 大型且吓人的工作展示 并且打算展示完就向他坦白
Welcome. 欢迎大家
In a digital age where every cell phone is a camera, we are all broadcasters. 在这个数字时代里 一部手机就是一部摄像机 我们都是广播员
"Hard News" is partnering with the London Media Show... "时事政治"正在和伦敦媒体秀合作...
so you can use your smartphone to create your own news broadcasting channel. 所以大家都可以利用自己的智能手机 创造属于自己的广播频道
Simply download the new 'Hard News' app and broadcast directly to our studios in... 只需要下载“时事新闻”软件 然后就可以直接和我们的演播室进行连线...
where Miranda is waiting for our first ever live simulcast. 米兰达已经做好准备 迎接我们的第一个同时联播
Hello everyone, live at the London MediaShow. 大家好 这是来自伦敦媒体秀的实时直播
And welcome to the new look of 'Hard News' studio. 欢迎来到“时事政治”的全新演播厅
We are live and yes, our viewers are broadcasting. 我们正在直播 而我们的观众也同时是我们的播报员
Right. Let's now go to the Grampians... 好了 让我们转到格兰屏山区...
where Adam Wollaston is leading a team of Venture Rangers to the top of Ben Nevis. 收看由亚当·沃拉斯顿 带领的“流浪者冒险队”在本尼维斯山 山顶为我们带来的画面
Hello, Adam Wollaston. - 'Hard News' sucks balls. - 你好 亚当·沃拉斯顿 - “时事新闻”烂到爆
Jesus. - Oh dear. - 天啊 - 我的苍天啊
Well, let's put that news story firmly behind us. 让我们忘记刚刚发生的一切
Technical glitch. 技术故障
Of course it's never been easier to email or text the show. 想要给节目 发送邮件或是提供意见 方法非常简单
Just search "Hard News" or simply H. 只需要输入“时事新闻”或是一个大写的H 进行搜索就行了
Because... 因为...
Be...cause... 因...因为...
Holy fuck. What's he doing here? 我去 他来这里做什么?
Because at 'Hard News', we believe... 因为在“时事新闻” 我们相信...
We believe that we are ready and on the front line... 我们相信 我们随时都要做好准备...
asking the questions the world wants answers to. 为那些想探寻真相的人们 排忧解难
Turn around. 快回头
Thank you. Okay. Career down the toilet. 谢谢 好吧 我的工作泡汤了
Both men in the same room. What could possibly go wrong? 两个爸爸现在同处一室 还有更糟的情况吗?
I hope you don't mind me just showing up and surprising you. 希望你不会介意 我这么唐突出现 我只想给你一个惊喜
No. - Well done. It was very... - 不会 - 表现不错 刚刚真是...
Yes. - Technically adroit. - 好吧 - 很干练
Mark, I would love for you to meet... 马克 我想介绍你认识...
Ariyaratna Sithamparanathan. 阿里亚纳特纳·斯特汗帕瑞纳汉
Ariyaratna's is the area manager for DTC Technological Solutions. 阿里亚纳特纳是国防技术中心 技术部的区域经理
Aren't you, Ari Sinatra? 是吗 阿里·斯纳崔纳?
Hi. - Hello. - 嗨 - 你好
Hey. 嘿
What the hell was that? What'ere you thinking? 刚刚什么情况?你到底在想什么?
I've got four voicemails from David Cartwright that I dare not listen to. 我收到4条大卫·卡特莱特 发来的语音信息 我一条都不敢听
I'll be right back. - You call that a presentation? - 我马上就回来 - 这也叫展示?
I don't know whether I've the right people around me because you're not... 我现在都搞不清楚 你到底有没有这个能力了...
Alice, I'm so sorry. Yeah well sorry isn't good enough. - 爱丽丝 我很抱歉 - 现在道歉已经来不及了
Excuse me. Look at me when I'm talking to you. Excuse me. - I'm so sorry, but I really... 嘿 我跟你说话的时候 请看着我 - 嘿 - 我真的非常抱歉 但我真的...
What? 什么?
Bridget, I'd like you to meet Jack Qwant. He's rather extraordinary. 布里奇特 给你介绍一下 这位是杰克·科万特 他非常的优秀
I was just reading a profile of him in The New Yorker. - Right, yes. 我刚刚才在《纽约客》上 - 读到他的简历 - 没错
We actually know each other. Yes, we certainly do. - 其实我们早就认识了 - 是的
Good job. Why didn't you introduce me to this man before? 刚刚你表现得真好 为什么之前你没把他介绍给我?
He's brilliant. You know, he represents the punk rock band that's being extradited. 他很棒 你知道吗 他是那个被引渡过来的 庞克摇滚乐队的代理律师
That's right. - Yes. Yes. I knew that too. - 没错 - 是的 这个我也知道
Hi, we've met fleetingly before as well. 嗨 我们之前也匆匆见过一面
I'm in charge of data management for most of Daventry. 大文特里很多的数据处理都是我在负责
Oh. Well, umm... 好吧 额...
I must say it's fantastic that you're getting on so well because you have a lot in common. 我必须得说 你们能相处得 这么愉快 真是件好事 也难怪 你们有这么多的相同点
Shall we get out of here, and find a place a bit quieter? - Yes, why not. I booked Gianni's. 我们离开这里 找个更安静点的地方 - 如何? - 好啊 我订了詹尼的餐厅
Great. - That sounds lovely. - 很好 - 听上去不错
You might have to sit this one out, Arinuth. I'm sorry. 这次你最好就别跟来了 阿里纳斯 对不起
So do you actually believe that mathematics can... how did you put it in your book? 所以你真的相信算式能够... 你书上是怎么写的?
help us analyze behavior previously invisible to science? 帮助我们去分析那些行为背后的含义?
Well, my dating algorithm is to help people find love, not necessarily replace it. 我的恋爱公式是想帮助大家 找到真爱的 而不是代替爱本身
Oh no, is incredible idea. - Have you ever tried it out? - 这是个好主意 - 你自己有试过吗?
You're single, right? - Well, I'm... Yes, I suppose so. - 你还单身 对吧? - 我...我想是吧
How did you two meet? 你们是怎么认识的?
Yeah. - It's umm... - 好吧 - 额...
It's sort of a funny story. Sort of. 说起来有点好笑 有点
You see, umm... 这么说吧...
a few months ago, on the fourth of the month, I met Jack at a music festival. 几个月之前 在那个月的4号 我在音乐节遇到了杰克
Right. 好吧
And we got on very well and sort of had... relations. 我们相处得非常愉快 最后发生了...关系
And the next week, that is to say, on the eleventh of the month at Jude's baby christening to be exact... 几星期之后 也就是说 在那个月的 11号 确切点说 是在裘德孩子的洗礼仪式上...
following the consumption of a large amount of alcohol, Mark and I, well, we had similar relations. 在喝了不少酒的情况下 我和马克 也发生了同样的关系
And, um, this is the funny part, I suppose. Owing to these relations... 额 好笑的部分来了 我认为 由于这两段关系...
the resulting life form currently residing in my tummy, could actually, in fact, be either of yours. 都有可能导致 这个小东西出现在我肚子里 所以事实上 你们两个中间 只有一个是孩子的父亲
I know I should have told you both before but... I just didn't. 我知道我应该早点告诉你们...但是我做不到
You both seemed so happy. 你们听到这个消息都那么开心
So correct me if I'm wrong, but did you just say that the baby could be either of us? 如果我理解错了 请纠正我 你是说这个孩子 可能是我们中其中一个的?
So you have no idea which of us is actually the father? 所以你也不确定 我们两个究竟谁才是孩子的爸爸?
I know, it's all very confusing. I'm sorry. 我知道 情况非常的复杂 我很抱歉
I'm sorry. 对不起
So however we choose to do this... 但是不管最后我们决定 如何处理我们的关系...
the most important thing now is this. 现在最重要的 都是这个小宝宝
Bridget, I'm not going to pretend this isn't a shock. 布里奇特 我不会假装这个消息 对我毫无打击
I want you to know whatever the circumstance... 但我想告诉你 不管现在的情况如何...
The most important thing is the baby. 最重要的就是这个孩子
Who knows, this could be a great adventure. 谁知道呢 说不定这是场很棒的冒险
I'm afraid you're going to have to excuse me. I have a meeting. 很抱歉 我得先走了 我还有一场会要开
Good night - Mark... - 晚安 - 马克...
Gianni, can we have the bill please? - Subito. - 詹妮 麻烦结账 - 马上来
（为帕梅拉·琼斯投票：将我们的社区从压榨和毁灭中拯救）
And if I thought that was tricky... 如我在我看来，这都算难对付...
how would the news go down at mum's parish council election campaign? 教区委员会选举上 听到这个消息会是什么反应呢?
Honestly, we started half an hour ago. Where have you been? 我们半小时前就开始了 你到底跑哪儿去了?
You said it was an emergency. Well, The Gazette wants to take a family portrait. 你不是说有紧急情况吗 报纸想要拍一张全家福
What are you wearing? 你穿的是什么衣服?
Oh my God. Bridget, you're... - Yes. - 天啊 布里奇特 你... - 是的
Why didn't you say anything? - I didn't want to upset you. - 你为什么不告诉我? - 我不想让你伤心
Why would you? Oh no, Bridget. Who's the father? 为什么这么想?哦不 布里奇特 孩子的爸爸是谁?
It's not Mark is it? Oh, do say it is. - There's at least a 50 percent chance. 是马克对吧?拜托告诉我是的 至少有50％的机率是他的
A 50 percent chance? - Mark and this really nice American called Jack. - 50％的机率? - 马克 还有一个非常好的美国人 名叫杰克
Oh no, Bridget. An American? Did you have a three-way? 不 布里奇特 美国人?你去3p了?
Mrs Jones. 琼斯夫人
Here, take this and pretend everything is fine. - Everything is fine. 来 拿着这个 - 假装什么事都没发生 - 是没发生什么啊
Ms. Jones, can we... Here's a lovely place for you to stand. - 琼斯夫人 我们能...一这个位置挺适合你站的
Are you ashamed of me? - No darling. It's just the circumstances. - 我给你丢脸了吗? - 不是的 亲爱的 只是现在的情况有些特别
I'm running for high office. See? 我在竞选 你自己看
If you love family and you love values... it's so long. 如果你爱自己的家人 也爱价值...太长了
It's not the 1950's. 现在不是50年代了
Look around you. Two lesbians just adopted at number 32. 看看你周围吧 两个同性恋刚刚都在32号桌入座了
If you don't change the way you look at things, you're going to lose your precious election... 你如果不改变自己看待事物的方式 你一定会在心爱的选举上落败的...
and perhaps your daughter. 同时也会失去自己的女儿
Bridget, so lovely to see you. 布里奇特 能见到你真高兴
Are you...? - Yes, I am. - 你是...? - 是的 我怀孕了
How wonderful. We thought you'd just got all fat again. 真是太棒了 我们都以为你只是又长胖了
I'm now the Mary Magdalene of middle England. Have alienated Mom and Mark Darcy. 我成了英格兰中部的 抹大拉的玛利亚 和妈妈 马克·达西的关系都搞僵了
Am like tropical female insect that shags men to impregnate self and eats them. 像极了那些典型的雌性昆虫 引诱雄性和自己交配 在这之后就将雄性吃掉
The question is: will Mark even turn up and engage in a polyamorous family? 现在的问题是：马克会出现 并且加入这个多角恋的家庭吗?
Hey. Hello. - 嘿 - 你好
First pre-natal class. 第一节产前课程
Exciting, huh? - Yeah. - 真让人兴奋 不是吗? - 是的
You look great. 你看上去美极了
Hello. 你好
I'm so glad you came. - Yeah, me too. - 真高兴你能来 - 我也是
I brought you a nice tea. - Oh, wow. Thank you. - 我给你带了杯茶 - 哇 谢谢你
It's off 'till this evening. But there's a heck of a lot of caffeine in that tea. 虽然课程会持续到晚上 但茶里面的咖啡因是在太多了
I brought you a... super juice. 我给你带了一杯...超级果汁
Thank you. Shall we go in? 谢谢 可以进去了吗?
Why not? - Sure. Let me carry that for you. - 为什么不呢? - 当然 我帮你拿包吧
Thank you. - Can I carry your phone, please? - 谢谢 - 我能帮你拿手机吗?
Okay. 好吧
Thank you. 谢谢
And who do we have here, then? 给大家介绍一下自己吧
I'm Bridget and this is Jack ... 我叫布里奇特 这位是杰克...
and this is Mark. 这位是马克
Oh. Lovely. You're our second same sex couple today. 噢 真有爱 你是我们今天来的第二对同性恋人
No, actually we're ... - Absolutely. - 不 事实上... - 没错
We just need the gift of a baby to make us feel complete. 我们需要一个孩子 来让我们的生活更完整
You must be the surrogate? - Exactly, yes. - 你一定就是代孕了? - 是的 没错
Just helping this wonderful couple make their dream come true. 我非常愿意帮这对可爱的恋人圆梦
Mark is very nervous about all this. All new to you, isn't it, lamb chop? 马克只是太紧张了 对你来说 这些都太不熟悉了 对吗 小羊羔?
Like all visionaries, we encounter bumps along the road. 如同所有的梦想家 在前行的道路上 我们总会遇到磕磕碰碰
How would you like to give birth to your placenta? - Quickly. - 你觉得自己的生产过程会是什么样的? - 越快越好
Are you okay? Are you sure? 你没事吧?你确定?
And of course massage can have many benefits throughout pregnancy. 按摩对于怀孕期间的孕妇 当然有很多的好处
Can we name some of them? - It relieves stress and promotes feel good hormones. 有人能列举出来吗? 能够减缓压力 促进有益荷尔蒙的产生
And is also to be avoided in cases of high risk pregnancy... 还能有效防止高风险怀孕案例的发生...
For example, when there is a geriatric mother. 比如 可以帮助年纪较大的孕妇
Right, excellent, someone's been reading up. 没错 非常棒 看来有人花了不少功夫看书啊
Would you like to have a go? - No, I think I'll let Jack get on with it.... 你愿意来试试吗? 不用了 让杰克来就行了
I think he seems to have it covered. - That's very sweet of you. - 我觉得他挺在行的 - 你真是太贴心了
That's why I love you, my little teacup. 这就是我这么爱你的原因 我的小茶杯
What if we ask the right questions and apply the laws of mathematics... 如果我们问对了问题 再加之运算法则的帮助...
so that the science of courtship could be quantified? 那是不是对一段恋情的评估就可以量化了?
（你们意趣相投吗？）
May I please make an application to lead to an appeal... 我可以就女王殿下政府与...
in the case of Her Majesty's Government and Saddiq Al Bashir. 萨迪克·阿尔·巴希尔一案 提出上诉请求吗
As Your Lordship is aware, Mr. Al Bashir has lost. 法官大人应该知道 阿尔·巴希尔先生已经失踪了 （布里奇特·琼斯：我在去医院的路上联系不上你 只能给杰克打电话）
So everything's alright? - Yes, well, it's this combination... - 一切正常吗? - 是的 就是一些小黄瓜...
gherkins, anchovies, banana juice and Pringles. 凤尾鱼 香蕉汁 和品客薯片的混合物
So essentially... - It's wind. - 本质上来说...- 就是胀气
Right, so, going forward regular Pringles, not hot, spicy barbecue? 所以 现在只能吃一般的品客薯片 不能吃又烫又辛辣的烤肉了?
Or possibly no Pringles at all. Try that. 或者连薯片都别吃了
Is everything alright? Is Bridget okay? - Yes, perfectly fine. - 没事吧?布里奇特还好吧? - 是的 完全没问题
She's in there with... That's Dr. Pringle. He's testing her blood. This is interesting. 在她旁边的是...品客医生 他在为她验血 真是有趣
This is a new bedside technique we're testing out of Oslo. It's Norwegian. 这是一项新的床边技术 我们在奥斯陆 一个挪威的城市 做的临床试验
It's alright. I know about Jack. Thank you doctor. - Oh, thank God. Why didn't you tell me? 没关系 我认识杰克 谢谢你医生 谢天谢地 你为什么不早说?
She's fine. He's calmed her down completely, actually. 她没事了 他已经完全安抚了她的情绪
I'm sorry, I got your messages. I was in court. 抱歉 我收到了你的短信 但当时我在法庭上
Hi. It's alright. Can't be helped. 嗨 没关系 反正你来也帮不上什么忙
You should get it. It might be work. 快接吧 说不定是工作上的事
Don't worry. I got it covered. - Yes, I can see that. - 别担心 这里有我呢 - 我看得出来
Wow. Okay, you need to chill out. We have to do this together. 哇 好吧 你得放松点 这件事我们必须一起面对
You know, in Peru the Um Bat Do, consider paternity attach shared responsibility among the many tribesmen. 知道吗 在秘鲁 很多的男性部员 都享有对婴儿的责任
Unfortunately, we Um Bat don't live in Peru. I live in Ealing. 不幸的是 这里并不是秘鲁 而是伊灵
Negative energy is just so bad for the baby. 负面情绪对宝宝的健康不好
Stop it. Both of you. This isn't a competition. 别吵了 你们两个都赶快停下来 这又不是什么竞争
She's right. We should take this toxic energy out of the room. 她说的对 我们必须把这种有害能量 赶出这个房间
I won't be a minute. 我一会儿就完
What's up? Come on, buddy. Why are you so angry? 怎么了?别这样 兄弟 你为什么这么生气?
You know what? I'm really not your buddy. 知道吗?我真的不是你兄弟
I don't know about vibes or negative energy or prenatal wind... 我不知道什么共鸣 什么负面能量 什么产前胀气...
and even less about algorithms... 对于算式 我更是一窍不通...
so I will confess that the laws of attraction are somewhat beyond me. 所以我必须承认 你的恋爱定律对我不管用
In fact, Bridget defies comprehension generally. 事实上 布里奇特这个人就让我琢磨不透
But despite, or perhaps owing to the bewildering litany of catastrophes 但尽管如此 在过去的40年里 我和她一起见证了
I've witnessed over the last 40 years, I feel I've come to know Bridget rather well... 太多崎岖灾难 亦或是分分合合 所以我感觉我非常了解布里奇特...
and I've spent those years caring for her very deeply. 在那些日子里 我也非常关心她
And that may defy automated reasoning, but there's nothing I can do about it. 这一切都可以和你的自动推理抗衡 但除此之外 我别无他法
Nothing you can do about it? 别无他法?
Maybe you should try and stay around a little, instead of saving the world by cellphone. 或许你应该找时间多陪陪她 而不是成天拿着手机 在外面拯救世界
I make her happy, Mark. 我能让她快来 马克
And I suppose your algorithm tells you you're destined to be together, does it. 我猜你的算式 也告诉你 你们是天生一对 对吧
Actually it does. The fact that you've been trying 没错 至于你 在过去的10年里
and failing for the past ten years tells me you are not. 你们都没有成功 就这一点看来 你们是不合适的
No... - I don't want to fight with you. - 不... - 我不想和你争
We should think about Bridget and the baby. 我们现在应该多想想布里奇特 和她肚子里的孩子
For better or worse, fate has brought us together. 因为无论如何 都是命运将我们聚在一起
It wasn't fate, it was condoms. - What do you mean? - 那不是命运 是避孕套 - 你说什么?
Those ridiculous dolphin friendly things from the bottom of Bridget's bag. 就是那些布里奇特包里 放着的可笑的环保避孕套
I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about. When Bridget and I got it on, I was... 抱歉 我完全不知道你在说什么 因为我和布里奇特做的时候 我...
I was not dressed for the occasion. 没有戴那个东西
No Mark today? - No. - 马克今天没来? - 是的
We must thank one person who was prepared to fight for us... 我们必须的感谢一个人 他在所有人放弃我们的时候...
when no one else would, and we say to that person... 选择为我们而战 我们要对那个人...
with all our hearts... 衷心地说一句...
"Freedom!" “自由!”
Bridget, we're back. 布里奇特 准备开始
I still can't believe Mark ducked out like that. 真不敢相信 马克竟然就这样退出了
Well, it's not really his fault. 事实上 这也不能怪他
I suppose we just have to hope it's Jack's, right? 看来我们只有寄希望于 孩子是杰克的了 对吗?
I mean, let's face it, things could be worse. He's pretty fucking amazing. 实事求是的讲 情况可能比现在更糟 他真的挺不错的
He's richer than God and he has a very nice sized puppet. 富得流油 而且有一根尺寸合适的木偶
He does, and we match up very nicely on paper. 确实 而且网站上对我们的评分挺高的
Well, how do you know? - You just have to have faith. - 你怎么知道? - 你必须心存信念
You just have to ask yourself: can I see myself growing old... 你只需要用心问自己：你能想象自己和眼前这个男人...
with this guy, and not Mark Darcy? 共度余生 而不是和马克·达西吗?
There it is. Here we go. 球在这里啊 接好
Oh, hey! 噢 嘿!
You know, first few months, they only see black and white. 知道吗 刚出生的前几个月 宝宝只看得见黑白色
This will help stimulate spatial awareness. 这可以刺激他的空间感
Or early onset motion sickness. 或者早期的运动疾病
I got him one of these. A bouncy chair. 我给他买了个这个 摇摇椅
Not quite sure where we're going to put it. 还不知道到底应该放在哪里
About that... It's kind of cramped in here, don't you think? 说到这个问题...房间看起来挺狭小的 你不觉得吗?
It's cosy. 很舒适啊
You know, I've been thinking. Might be nice if we moved in together. 知道吗 我一直在想 我们同居吧
You think we're ready for that? 你认为时机成熟了?
I'm just tired of living in hotel rooms and airport lounges. 我只是厌倦了待在酒店旅馆 或是住在机场休息室
We could be a family. Me, you and him. 我们可以成为一家人 你 我 还有他
What do you say? 你觉得呢?
What if it's not yours? - What? - 如果孩子不是你的怎么办? - 什么?
What if the baby turns out to be Mark's? 如果孩子的爸爸是马克怎么办?
Well, I mean, it'd certainly change things. 那情况就完全不一样了
Is that what you want? For it to be Mark's? 你心里是这么想的吗?你希望孩子的爸爸是马克?
Are you in love with him? 你爱他吗?
I have been in the past. 过去一直爱着他
And me? 那你爱我吗?
I could be, one day. 未来的某一天 我可能会
Bridget, I haven't been totally honest with you. 布里奇特 其实有件事 我一直瞒着你
Mark thinks the baby isn't his, and I let him believe it was mine. 马克以为这个孩子不是他的 是我让他认为 这个孩子是我的
That's why he disappeared. 所以他才会消失
Why would he think that? - Because I let him. - 他为什么会这么想? - 因为我骗了他
Because I wanted you for myself. 因为我想拥有你
We could be so good for each other. 我们在一起会非常合适的
97 percent. - On paper. - 有97％的匹配率 - 那都是网上的数据
But falling in love doesn't happen on paper. 但是爱上一个人不会发生在网上
Sometimes you love a person because of all the reasons they're not like you. 有时你会因为一个人 在很多方面都跟你不像 而爱上他
And sometimes you love a person just because they feel like home. 有时你会因为一个人让你有家的感觉 而爱上他
I've got to find Mark. 我必须得找到马克
Hello, Pierce. It's Bridget. I'm trying to get hold of Mark. 你好 皮尔斯 我是布里奇特 我想找马克
He just got back from a trip, Bridget. He's in a taxi on his way home. 他刚刚出差回来 布里奇特 他正在回家的车上
Hi. 嗨
Approximately eight weeks to go. 大概还有8周 就要生了
You don't really need them, you know. 其实你根本就不要他们
All they're good for is fitting car seats, and blaming things on, 男人唯一的用处就是 铺铺汽车垫子 然后当当出气筒
they really just get in the way after that. 结婚之后 他们真的只能帮上这些忙
You're absolutely capable of doing this on your own. 你绝对有能力一个人搞定这些事
I did. 我就是这么过来的
（卡路里：3000千焦 主要摄取来源：土豆）
（酒精摄取量：0 简直就是折磨啊！但只需要再忍受4周就好了）
You know what? I can do this on my own. We can do this on our own. 知道吗?我一个人绝对能行 我们都可以
One of the perks of being pregnant is I no longer feel like a tragic lonely spinster. 怀孕一大振奋人心的好处就是 我不再感觉自己是一个悲剧的 没人要的老处女了
Because of a miniature miracle growing inside. 就因为自己身体里正孕育着一个小小的生命
Hello. Hello! - 你好 - 你好啊!
Mum's throwing a Christmas party / political rally. 你妈妈正在家里举办圣诞派对／政治集会
It's like the G8 summit with Scotch eggs. Be brave. Go in. 就像放满苏格兰煮蛋的G8峰会一样 勇敢点 进去吧
Hello darling. - Hello. - 你好 亲爱的 - 你好
Sorry, I didn't realise everyone was here. I'll just pop upstairs. 抱歉 我不知道家里来了这么多人 我直接上楼去吧
No, nonsense. Nonsense. Una's had all the posters reprinted. 不用 说什么呢 乌纳帮我重新打印了一份海报
（支持单亲妈妈 少数派 同性恋群体及意大利人）
You've inspired me. - Still so long. - 是你给我的灵感 - 标语还是太长了
You were quite right, as it turns out. 结果你说的话 都挺对的
This place is teeming with single mothers, single fathers, bisexuals, surrogates. 这个地方出现了越来越多的单亲妈妈 单亲爸爸 双性恋 代理孕妇
And they're all lovely and so normal. 而他们都非常可爱 和其他人都一样
Do you know, I've even got two homosexuals on the team. - No, thank you. 知道吗 在我的支持队营里 - 有两个人是同性恋 - 不用 谢谢
Who knew? - Everybody. - 谁知道呢? - 所有人都知道
I'm so proud of you, darling. You know that? 我真为你感到骄傲 亲爱的 知道吗?
What you're doing is not easy, but if anyone can make it work, it's you. 你现在所经历的事 非常不容易 但如果有人能坚持下来 那一定就是你
That child is the luckiest boy on earth to have you as his mother. 这个孩子能拥有 你这样的妈妈 是他一生中最幸运的事
And he's going to have the love of a million fathers with you by his side. 有你在他身边 他一定会感受到无尽的爱
Come on. We've got some campaigning to do. 走吧 还要去参加竞选呢
Make way. Make way. Single pregnant mother coming through. 让一下 让一下 单亲妈妈来了
Laura, Josh. We need to give six minutes to General Lu Tong, ok. 劳拉 乔希 我们要给卢仝将军6分钟的采访时间
It's a huge scoop. - Yeah, Alice wants to pull the interview. - 这是个机会难得的独家新闻 - 但爱丽丝想取消这次采访
She's got a feature on "Is The World Really Ending On Tuesday?" 她想到一个“星期二真的是世界末日吗?”的专题
Well it may as well if we lose Lu Tong. Lu Tong stays. 如果不采访卢仝 就真的是世界末日了 采访得留下
Six minutes. Let's do this. 6分钟 记住了
General Lu Tong, hi. Sorry it's so chaotic in here today. 卢仝将军 你好 抱歉今天的演播厅这么混乱
Thank you for coming on. We're on, live, in two minutes. 感谢你能来 我们将在2分钟后 进行现场直播
Miranda will probably want to start with what's going on in Naypyidaw. 米兰达的第一个问题 可能是“在奈比多究竟发生了什么”
Go three. - Miranda, back to General Lu Tong. - 3秒钟后开始 - 米兰达 回到卢仝将军身上
Keep pressing. - So let me ask you one more time, General Lu Tong... - 继续采访 - 请允许我 再问你一次 卢仝将军...
will you take responsibility for the human rights abuses... 你们政府对于人权肆意践踏...
perpetrated by your own government? 你会为之负责吗?
He's on the rack. Tight on 4. Get those beads of sweat. 他开始紧张了 4号机拉近 捕捉他脸上的汗水
In you go, 4. Push it. - I'm sorry, I can't answer that. - 4号机 拉近 - 抱歉 我不能回答这个问题
Can't, or won't, Lu Tong? 是不能 还是不愿意 卢仝?
- Can't, or won't, General Lu Tong? 是不能 还是不愿意 卢仝将军?
On balance, I'd suggest "can't", considering 我建议用“不能”因为我刚刚在休息室
I've just found General Lu Tong in the lobby, 找到了真正的卢仝将军
and his chauffeur is currently live on air answering 而现在直播受访 正在回答远东地缘政治学问题的
questions about Far Eastern geopolitics. 是他的司机
No? Any comments you want to make about the use of sexual torture... 还是不回答吗?那对于 你手下的军人 采取性虐待这种手段...
by your own military? 你有什么想说的吗?
Ask him about London traffic. - London traffic, General Lu Tong, - 问他伦敦交通的问题 - 那伦敦交通呢 卢仝将军
anything to say about that? No comment there. Unbelievable. 你有什么想说的吗?还是不予评论 真不敢相信
That's it from General Lu Tong. We'll see you after this short break. 以上就是对卢仝将军的所有采访内容 广告后 我们再见
Good job. 真是干得漂亮
Unfortunately, you leave me no choice. 很不幸 你让我别无选择
It is actually illegal to fire somebody for being pregnant. 因为员工怀孕 就将她开除 这么做是违法的
I'm not firing her for being pregnant. I'm firing her for gross incompetency. 我不是因为她怀孕而开除她 而是因为她的失职
Bridget is the beating heart of this show. How could you want to fire her? 布里奇特是这个节目的灵魂人物 你怎么能开除她呢?
How about for interviewing a chauffeur instead of a general? 比如采访的对象不是将军 而是他的司机?
Using a TV interview to determine if a guest might be the father of her child... 利用电视采访 来满足私欲 想要借此找出嘉宾是不是她孩子的父亲...
and being responsible for the broadcast of six bare arses? 并且对直播6个光屁股负有直接责任 这些理由够吗?
It's okay. It really okay, Richard. 没关系 算了 理查德
I was going to quit anyway. Probably. 反正我也打算辞职 早晚的事
Believe it or not, I was a little like you when I started here. 信不信由你 我刚来这里工作时 跟你很像
A little chunkier and much less makeup, but I wanted to make my mark too. 也是又矮又胖 但是不会这么浓妆艳抹 但我想留下属于自己的标志
But I don't want to be part of your re-branding. 但我不想成为你所谓“品牌重塑”的一部分
I haven't got the right haircut anyway and I don't drink cocktails out of jam jars 我的头型永远很落伍 我也不会用果酱罐来喝鸡尾酒
or post photos of my lunch on Instagram. 或者在instagram上分享午餐的照片
And I suppose it's become unfashionable to care 我想或许现在播报一些真正重要的新闻
about wanting to make something worthwhile. 已经变得不时髦了吧
But I would rather be old-fashioned and unemployed... 但我宁愿保持自己的老派 宁愿不要这份工作...
than part of a show that celebrates the inane. 也不愿意成为播报愚蠢新闻的节目的一份子
Then maybe when my boy is old enough to understand, 或许等到我儿子长大的一天 他会明白
integrity will be fashionable again. 诚实才是最时尚的东西
What have I done? 我都做了什么?
It's all very well fighting for your principles 当你家里的冰箱空空如也时 还要坚守自己
when there's no food in the fridge. 所谓的原则 我真是棒棒的
I mean, how difficult can it be to find another job... 找一份新工作能有多难啊...
when you've just been fired and your nine months pregnant? 当你刚刚被炒鱿鱼 并且怀有9个月身孕的时候?
And whatever happens now, I'm going to get you one of those bloody Bugaboos. 不管现在发生什么 我都要给你买一个汉堡
Birthday? 生日吗?
（密码错误）
Oh God, brains gone to mush. 天啊 脑袋又犯迷糊了
First shag? 初夜?
（抱歉 卡已被吞 请和办卡分行联系）
No. 不
Bugger. 该死
I'm very sorry. 非常抱歉
I've gone all crap, all of a sudden. 我突然一下 就丧失了理智
Right. 好吧
No, no, no, no. Fuck. 不不不不 该死
Okay, new pre-birth resolutions. 好了 我新的生育前决议
I, Bridget Jones, am going to be the best mother in the world. 我 布里奇特·琼斯 一定要做全世界最好的妈妈
I'm going to try not to leave you in a shop... 我要尽力不能把你遗忘在商店里...
or put you in the washing machine like the woman in the newspaper with her cat. 或者把你装进洗衣机里 就像报纸上那个对她猫 做这种事的女人那样
Look, I know I made you a promise to get things sorted before you got here. 听着 我知道我向你保证过 在你出生之前 把所有的事情都理清楚
Well the truth is, I haven't, but you and me can do this together... 但事实却是 我做不到 但你和我 一定可以一起面对这些困境的...
because knights in shining armour don't exist any more. 因为穿着银色盔甲的骑士 在现实生活中是不存在的
Or do they? 或者他们还是存在的?
Hi. 嗨
Bridget. Good God, what are you doing there? You're all wet. 布里奇特 天啊 你在这里做什么?你全身都湿透了
Yes, I locked myself out, and left my bag... 我把自己锁外面了 我的包丢了...
Lost my keys, phone, my mind. 钥匙 手机 脑袋都丢了
What are you doing here? 你来这里做什么?
It seems I can always find time to save the world, but you're my world. 看样子我能随时找时间 拯救世界 但你就是我的全世界
I thought you were back with Candida. 我以为你和坎迪德复合了
You know perfectly well her name's Camilla. - Camilla. - 你明明知道她的名字是卡蜜拉 - 卡蜜拉
I came round your house to find you, and she was there. 我去你家找你 看见她也在那儿
She came to collect her bags. Gone back to The Hague. 她是来拿自己的行李的 现在已经回海牙了
Just taken her to the airport. 我刚把她送去机场
Thank you. 谢谢
Bridget... 布里奇特...
You know I find emotional declarations... 你知道 我一直都不太擅长...
difficult. 言辞
But the truth is ... 但事实上...
Why are my trousers warm? 我的裤子怎么热热的?
My waters must have broken. - Oh Jesus. - 我的羊水破了 - 天啊
So sorry. I'll get a cloth. 抱歉 我去找件衣服穿
But you're not due for another two or three weeks. 不是还有2到3个星期 才到预产期吗
That's a contraction. I think we should get to the hospital quickly. 我宫缩了 我觉得我们最好赶快去医院
Absolutely. - Let's take your car. - 没错 - 开你的车去
I came in a taxi. - Oh, for fucks sake. - 我是打的来的 - 噢 真该死
Well, how was I supposed to know? - No, not you. The contractions. 我怎么知道会碰上这种事? 我不是骂你 是在骂宫缩
No, we'll take your car. 那就开你的车
- We can't. The car keys are in my bag with everything else. 不行 我的车钥匙也在包里 和其他东西一起丢了
Five, six, seven, eight... - Just pant, and breathe, and count. - 5 6 7 8...- 大口喘气 呼吸 数数
... Nine, ten. - It's what your supposed to do, isn't it? - ...9 10 - 现在就该这么做 对吧?
You should get that. It might be work. 你接吧 可能是工作的事
No don't! - Oi! What the fuck? - 不要啊! - 啊!什么东西?
That's really sweet, but we've got to call a cab. 你能这么做我很感动 但我们得先叫辆车啊
Oh, shit. 噢 该死
Right, what do we do? 怎么办怎么办?
I'll think of something. 我想到个办法
Watch out. - Out of the way. - 小心 - 别挡道
We go to the hospital. We're going to make a baby. 我们要去医院 要生小宝宝了
Let's go. 出发吧
God, this is... This is really happening. 天啊 这真是...我不是在做梦吧
I'm going to be a mother. Maybe I'm too old for all this. 我要当妈妈了 或许我年纪是有点大了
Wait, wait. Why're you stopping? 等等 等等 你为什么停车?
A margarita with onion and pineapple. Number 17, thank you. 一杯加洋葱和菠萝的玛格丽特 17号 谢谢
What? 什么?
Who is ordering onion with pineapple, huh? Some people they're crazy, no? 谁会把洋葱和菠萝搭配在一起 有些人就是这么疯狂 对吧?
Yes. Okay. Here we go. 好了 准备出发了
Do not worry, Ms. Bridget. We get you there. 别担心 布里奇特女士 我们一定会把你及时送到的
There is no traffic this time of night. It's okay, eh? 都这么晚了 路上不会堵车的 别担心
Vagina. Power to the vagina. 阴道(女性) 给女性权利
My God. Unbelieveable. Is a bloody women's rights march. 天啊 真不敢相信 居然是该死的女权游行
Oh gees, not now. - Christ, it's those women I defended. - 天啊 非要选在现在吗 - 天啊 是那群我做辩护的女人
It's those infernal Russians. Just hold my hand. 是那群可恶的俄罗斯人 抓住我的手
We really need to get there. We need to get there. 我们必须马上去医院 必须马上去
Right, we're getting out. Ready? - No, I don't think it's a good idea. 好了 我们下车吧 准备好了吗? 不 我不觉得这是个好主意
No, Bridget... Bridget. 不 布里奇特...布里奇特
Call Jack. - I'll come behind with the bags, Mr. Mark. - 打电话给杰克 - 东西放我车上 我稍后就到 马克先生
And I call Mr. Jack. 我会联系杰克先生的
It's all right, Bridget. We'll find a way. - I don't think I can walk. 别担心 布里奇特 我们会找到办法的 我走不动了
It's alright. I'll carry you. 好吧 我抱你
Good God, Bridget. You're immense. - I can't help it. - 天啊 布里奇特 你真是太重了 - 这又不是我能控制的
I think my lungs collapsed, but this is not about me. 我觉得我的肺快炸裂了 但现在管不了这么多了
The contractions are starting again. 又开始宫缩了
I'm going to have the baby in the street. - I tell you what, - 我要大街上生孩子了 - 这样吧
we'll rest for ten, and we'll walk for ten. - Okay. - 我们走10米 休息10米 - 好的
It's not much further. - No. - 不远了 - 对
I think it's about a mile and a half. - Don't think... - 我想应该只有一个半英里了 - 别多想...
Are you okay? 你还好吗?
It's probably best if I don't talk too much. - Yes. - 我别说太多话 可能要好点 - 没错
Okay, I'm here. Okay. I can take it from here. 行了 我来了 从这里开始交给我吧
I'm here. Okay. I got this. - Thank you. - 我来了 行了 我来吧 - 谢谢
Jesus. 天啊
This is a two man job. - I'm here. - 这得两个人抬 - 我来了
Take her. Take her. - I got her. - 接住她 接住她 - 我接住了
Jesus. Don't drop her. 天啊 别掉下去了
Just inside. - This way? - 快进去 - 这边吗?
Yes, there. - No, this way. - 对 就是这儿 - 不对 是这边
Okay, squeeze in. 行了 快挤进去
Are you squeezing? - Get her. - 你有用力挤吗? - 抬好她
Squeeze in. - I'm squeezing. - 快挤进去 - 我在挤
Push. 快推
Closer. 再离近点
No, no, that's fine. 不用 这样就行
We're out. - Nurse. - 终于进来了 - 护士
Carol, Carol, wheelchair. Wheelchair 卡罗 卡罗 推轮椅来
One two three. - Yes, over here. Please. Thank you. - 1 2 3 - 放到上面来 谢谢
You okay? 你没事吧?
Which of you is the father? - I am. - 哪位是爸爸? - 我是
Right. 好吧
Breathe out the pain. 深呼吸可以减轻疼痛感
Oh, good. - Hey. - 就是这样 - 嘿
I was wondering how many fathers we'd get. A full house. Bingo. 我还在想今天会来几个爸爸呢 猜对了 全来了
Bridget, how do you want do this? An epidural? 布里奇特 你想怎么做?硬膜外麻醉吗?
No, you can do this. A positive mental attitude is stronger than any drug. 不 你可以做到的 一个正面的 精神状态 比所有药物都要管用
Okay? Just think away the pain. - Oh bollocks to that. No, I want everything. 好吗?用意念消除自己的疼痛 别废话了 所有东西都上吧
Gas, air, injections, morphine. 呼吸麻醉 注射麻醉 吗啡 我都要
Bridget, remember your yoga. - Fuck yoga. - 布里奇特 记住你之前练的瑜伽 - 去他妈的瑜伽
Oh, I couldn't agree with you more. 噢 我真应该听你的
It's supposed to relax one... 在数到1的时候 我应该放松...
but I just spend the entire time clenching my sphincter in an effort not to fart. 但现在我的括约肌全程 保持紧张状态 一直强忍着不要放屁
Can we turn you over? I just need to check your cervix. 你能翻个身吗?我要检查一下你的子宫颈
You're doing very well. Turning around. Turn to me. 你做得非常棒 转过来 面向我
Just a little rummage. 稍微检查一下就好
Okay, ready? Rummaging... now. 好了 准备好了吗?检查...开始
Yes. Oh, good, good.. You at eight centimeters already. 好了 很好很好...子宫已经张开8厘米了
That's excellent. That means you can't have any drugs at all. 非常好 这意味着你不需要用任何药物了
What? - You're too far gone. - 什么? - 你就快成功了
Well done. Ooh, another contraction. 很好 又一次宫缩
I'm not sure how much there is to gain from you two being at the coal face if I'm honest. 说实话 你们两位要想留在这里 目睹生产的全过程 我不知道该怎么给你们做心理建设
My ex-husband said it was like watching his favourite pub burn down. 我的前夫告诉我 事故现场就像他最爱的酒馆被强拆一样
So. Your choice. 所以 你们自己看着办吧
Maybe dad should go and fetch mum a cool flannel. 爸爸最好去给妈妈准备一张凉凉的毛巾
I know. I know. 我知道 我知道
It's okay. You can do this. Just, think away the pain. 没事的 你能行的 记住用意念消除自己的疼痛
Mother fucker. 真是该死
Just think away the pain. - Get out, both of you. - 别去想这些伤痛 - 你们俩都给我滚出去
Where are you going? 你们要去哪儿?
I've changed my mind. 我改主意了
You can do this. 你能做到
You can. We can do it together. 你可以的 我们一起加油
Just think what lifes thrown at you already. 想想生活中 你都遇到了哪些挫折
You've turned disasters into triumphs... 你把一切灾难都变成了胜利。．．
with your sheer, joyful, indefatigable, infectious lust for life. 用你那纯粹 欢乐 不屈 具有感染力的对生活的态度
You've managed this entire pregnancy almost entirely on your own... 你几乎靠自己的力量 成功度过了整个孕育期...
despite a lunatic mother, repressed men and cheating boyfriends who don't deserve you. 即使你是一个疯狂的母亲 因为乱搞 所以搞不清楚孩子的父亲究竟是谁
Just a last few moments. 但再过几分钟
Just a last few moments, my love, and then you'll see your beautiful baby. 再坚持几分钟 亲爱的 你就可以看到你可爱的宝宝了
What if it's not yours? - I'll love him anyway, just as I love you. 万一他不是你的怎么办? 那我也会好好爱他 像爱你一样爱他
The way you were, the way you are, the way you always will be. 以前爱着你 现在爱着你 将来也会爱着你
I think you better go and have that seen to. - Thank you. - 我建议你也最好去外面等着 - 谢谢
I'll handle it from here. 接下来就交给我了
Think the pain away. 用意念消除自己的疼痛
You're pushing an entire human being out of your vagina. 你阴道里可要挤出一个完整的人
I'd like to see them thinking it away. 我倒想他们来试试
And, with 367 of the votes... 最终的胜利者是...
the winner is Pamela Margaret Jones. - Pamela, honey, it's Bridget. 获得367票的帕梅拉·玛格丽特·琼斯 - 帕梅拉 亲爱的 - 是布里奇特
Not now, Colin. - It's about the baby. - 现在不行 科林 - 孩子快生了
I hereby declare that Pamela Margaret Jones... 我在此宣布帕梅拉·玛格丽特·琼斯...
I'm so sorry. You'll have to excuse me. 抱歉 我可能要失陪了
We are about to become a grandmother. 我要当外婆了
Well, that's it for the special late night edition of "Hard News". 这就是“时事新闻” 今晚的特殊板块
25 seconds to off air. 25. - Standby. - 25秒后结束直播 - 准备
Bridget's in labor. 布里奇特要生了
Bridget's in labor!! 布里奇特要生了!
Except to say Bridget Jones is in labour! 还有一句 布里奇特·琼斯要生了!
Yes. - Run the credits. - 太棒了 - 播放工作人员名单
Credits. - Run the credits. - 工作人员名单 - 播放工作人员名单
I hope I'm bloody godmother. - Cue the fucking weather. - 希望教母是我 - 叫播天气的准备
Listen I... 听着 我...
I owe you an apology. 我欠你一个道歉
I know I haven't behaved very well in all of this. 我知道在这件事情上 我的行为有些不检点
No, it's okay. 没关系
Hello. 你好
Say hello to our beautiful boy. 来给我们可爱的儿子问声好吧
Go ahead. - Thank you. - 你先吧 - 谢谢
Let's see who you are. 看看这是谁啊
Isn't he perfect? - Yes. - 他是不是很可爱? - 是的
Hello. 你好
I'm so sorry I'm late, Bridge. 抱歉我迟到了 布里奇特
Some lesbians are having a stupid all night march. 路上碰到一群女同在游行
Actually, they're marching in aid of free speech. 事实上 她们在争取言论自由的权利
It's rather important. - My God, look at him. - 这是非常重要的 - 天啊 快看看他啊
Bridge. 布里奇特
I'm so sorry that we weren't here. There's an unbelievably long march. 抱歉我们当时没在场 路上碰到有人游行
Actually, the march is critical... - Can I be godfather? - 事实上 游行是有批判意义的... - 我能当教父吗?
Oh, I'm depending on you. 噢 我心里想的就是你
Oh, congratulations. - Well done. - 噢 祝贺你 - 辛苦了
Thank you very much. - Well done. - 谢谢你们 - 辛苦了
Well done, both of you. - To all of you. - 你们都辛苦了 - 谢谢
Where is she? 她在哪儿?
I'm so sorry we didn't get here on time. Daddy's parking the car. 抱歉我们没能及时赶到 你爸爸正在停车
There's some march for women's rights. I mean, honestly, do we need any more rights? 路上碰到女权游行 说实话 我们还需要更多权利吗?
Mom, meet your new grandson. 妈妈 来看看你的孙子
The darling. He looks just like... 亲爱的 他看起来简直跟...
Not that it matters, but... do we know who the daddy is yet? 我不是说这个很重要 但是...现在知道爸爸是谁了吗?
Shall we find out? 想知道吗?
Come on, you two. Time for a little test. 来吧 两位 我们来做点小测试吧
It's so exciting, isn't it? It's like the final of the X Factor or something. 真令人兴奋 不是吗? 就好像《X音素》的决赛 如果支持马克
Dial 01 if you want it to be Mark and 02 if you want it to be Jack. 请投1号 如果支持杰克 请投2号
Well, good luck. - You too. - 祝你好运 - 你也是
Please. - Thank you. - 你先请 - 谢谢
（1年后...）
You look beautiful. - Thank you. - 你真美 - 谢谢
Hello darling. Hello. - 你好 亲爱的 - 你好
Hello. 你好
Hello. - Hi. - 你好 - 嗨
We're really doing this. - No going back now. - 没想到我们真的结婚了 - 现在已经没有退路了
We are gathered here to celebrate the union of Bridget Rose Jones... 我们今天齐聚与此 是为了庆祝布里奇特·罗斯·琼斯和...
and Mark Fitzwilliam Darcy. 马克·菲茨威廉·达西的结合
Aand by the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you... 基于我所被赋予的权利 我正式宣布...
finally, husband and wife. 你们终于 结为夫妻
Jack, what on earth are you doing with my son? 杰克 你对我儿子到底都做了些什么?
Well, don't leave me alone with him again. 那最好下次别把他 留下来和我单独相处
I have no idea what I'm doing. - Is he traumatized? - 我也不知道自己在做什么 - 他的心灵有受到创伤吗?
Hallo, William Jones-Darcy. Are you ready? 你好吗 威廉·琼斯·达西 你准备好了吗?
Some champagne for you? - Yes please. - 要来杯香槟吗? - 谢谢
Dear Diary. And so, I, Bridget Jones ... 亲爱的日记 就是这样 我布里奇特·琼斯...
am a singleton no more. Married? Yes. 不再是个单身狗 已婚?是的
Smug? Well, it's about time, so... 得意吗?现在才刚结婚 所以...
maybe just a little. 是有一点
（“出版社的花花公子 被发现生还”）